Broken Vow
by PeacemakingUnderdog
Summary: He sat holding his head. 'Who am I' I couldn't believe him at first but it became clear to me that Roronoa Zoro has amnesia. My enemy is vulnerable before me. A sad ZoTa fanfic. EDITED AND COMPLETED.
1. Alot to think

**L.R.; **Thank you for atleast checking out my story. Please read and maybe review meanwhile.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Will this suffice, dearie?" The old land lady asked me as she turned on the light of the living room of the small house that I'll be staying in for the mean time. I glanced around the room and could feel her two drowsy and blurry eyes on me. I placed my luggage on the floor.

I smiled and nodded. "Ah yes! It is a warm and comfortable house!" I said gladly just to make her feel good. She clapped her hands and smiled at me. "With a little tender love and care the house will be as good as new!" I liked her optimism and to make her keep going I said, "It's alright. I won't be here for a long time."

"Alright then." She grabbed the keys from her pocket and handed them to me. "Here are the keys and I think it's best if I leave you now. Won't want to make you feel very tired." She stepped out from the house and looked at me one more time. "If you need anything never hesitate to come to me. Bye bye!" Then she walked off.

"Bye!" I trailed after her. I closed the door and fell on the soft sofa. I sighed deeply. Frankly, I didn't gave a crap about the house. All I want was somewhere to stay in with just me living alone. The house was located in the woods and this was alone. It was away from the town, from the civilisation and that made me feel comfortable. I want to be in a quiet place where no one shall disturb me because I have _a lot _to think about. The Marines under Captain Smoker's supervision were assigned to stay in the island for maybe a month after the news about Buggy the pirate and his crew were to dock here.

The Captain hated the idea of staying here. He said he'd rather go after the Mugiwaras as always. Me? I… don't know anymore. Well yeah I do want to run after them and defeat them but... like I said, I have a lot to think about. I glanced at my luggage on the floor and I groaned as my head fell backwards.

* * * * *

"Wooh!" I collapsed on my soft white bed. I placed my right hand on my forehead shoving away my navy hair. I opened my closed eyes and stared at the ceiling. "Glad that was over." Yes, I just finished unpacking and damn it was horrible. There were thick dusts and spider webs in the closet. I almost felt sorry for the old lady. I did some wiping and maybe tomorrow I could clean the whole house... not! I'm too busy or maybe going to be busy I mean I'm a Marine. We were expected to be busy.

I sighed and sat up. I noticed a piece of brown paper rolled in my luggage. I can never forget about this paper. I reached out and grabbed it. I rolled it open and saw his face. It was his picture. The mad man who disrespected my honour. The man whom I am deeply obsessed of defeating. _Roronoa Zoro_. I can never forget about that smug smile that was plastered in that bastard's face during our first battle in Loguetown.

Crap, I'll never _forgive_ him. I rolled on the bed still staring at his trapped face in the piece of paper. I hated him. I hated how he looked. I hated his green hair, his nose and especially his smile. I hate all of it because.. because with all of it he stole something very important from me. It was the most important thing. The one that I have been guarding and making sure that it will never fall into the hands of someone who does not deserve it. But he did it. Before I even knew, he had stolen it away from me. And I hate him for that.

Roronoa was a very strong and formidable opponent. Surely strength and endurance cannot defeat him alone. I know that I might never win against him.. well that is because he refuses to fight me, but anyway, I shall try in the name of 'justice'! Yeah, who am I kidding? I had studied his physique at the time when I helped him picked out his swords and when I still didn't know he was Roronoa, _the_ Roronoa. His biceps had a great shape and when we were fighting under the rain, I could almost see through his wet white T-shirt. I could almost see through to his six packs.

Damn. But there's another thing I noticed from him. I hate to admit it and I can't believe I'm saying this but Roronoa Zoro was extremely gorgeous. My mouth slowly curled into a tight smile and I covered it instantly with my left hand with the right still holding unto his wanted poster.

"Damn it!" I yelled. Angrily, I sat up and pointed to his picture. "How dare you?! I'm going to kill you! I swear to God and all that's holy I will!" I frowned and glared at his picture. Feeling stupid, I collapsed on the bed once more. I sighed heavily. "Why did you do it?" I asked the poster. "How did it happen so fast?" I raised the picture over my face and looked at him in the eyes.

_"Zoro, why did you stole my heart?"_

Yes, I do have a lot to think about. I pursed my lips after I said those painful words. I almost choked as I said them, again. Yes, I had said that before and am still not used to it. "Foolish heart." I hugged his poster between my arms and chest. Yes, I hugged his poster and sometimes I feel awkward because sometimes I feel I was hugging him.

"You made my job even harder." I glared at the poster again. "Now how am I suppose to fight you if I act like a silly love struck teenager?" I scolded him. My anger was disrupted by a smile. I caressed the picture's cheek. "If only we weren't enemies then it would've been easy for me.."

I hugged it again and closed my eyes and fell to a deep dreamless sleep.

* * * * *

***BAM BAM BAM!!*** Came the loud booming knock on my door. Tsk! Who could this be at this time? I grabbed _Shigure_ and walked out from my room to the main door. I opened it and frown. "Yes?" I asked. Three Marine soldiers stood before me. "Sergeant, the Mugiwara pirates are in the island! Captain Smoker sent us here to tell you!"

_Mugiwara pirates . _That name made me jumped slightly. I nodded. "Alright. I'll be there. Go on ahead. I'll just get changed." I closed the door as they ran away. My heart was pounding in my chest wildly. I changed in my new hoodie and baggy shorts. I slid Shigure in my waist and ran out from my house. The whole reason why I felt the way I did was not only because the Mugiwara were here, but also because of Roronoa being in the island and any minute now I'm going to find myself face to face with him.

****

I started running along the dark alley of the town. The moon still high up on the dawn sky with a few stars. I heard men running and gun fires, battle cries and everything.

_"Onigiri!"_

Now that disturbed me. I stopped from my tracks knowing that the yell was not too far from where I am. My heart was now trying to break my ribs and maybe come out from my chest. I was very nervous. Just awhile ago I readied myself to battle but now I want to runaway maybe hide or retreat. How weak! Or maybe I could look for another opponent... too late. A man ran from the building in front of me.

It was him, Roronoa. I recognised him by his green glowing hair. He was still looking back to the Marine soldiers who attacked him. I _frozed. _And when he looked at me, he kept going until he recognised the person he was running into was me. He stopped. We both stared at each other. He was breathing through his mouth. Sweat streaming down from his temple to the curve of his cheek bone down to his chin. I too was breathing through my mouth and I felt a sweat ran down from the back of my neck. It happens a lot when I'm nervous.

"You." "Roronoa."

We both said at the same time. Then there was a short silence until he made that grimaced face and ran away to his right, to the woods. "Roronoa!" I yelled. Where did that come from? Then my feet worked on their own. I was running after him now. It was like cat and mouse. We always do it. It's the same routine. He kept running towards the pine woods and I just realized that he was running towards my small rented house.

"You! Stop!!" I managed to yell.

He looked back only to say, "You wish!" Okay I was deeply offended. Since at that time he was looking back at me, he didn't notice that there was a low branch in front of him. "Wait!" I yelled but it was so late. "Agh!" He groaned as his face hit the branch. My running turned into walking. I walked towards his slumped body on the ground. He was motionless.

I took out Shigure from his sheath and pointed the tip of the sword to Roronoa's nose. "Hey.." I whispered. I noticed blood from his left temple roll down to his ear. It was also bruised. That's gotta hurt. He was unconscious. I sheathed by sword and slowly bent down to have a better look at his face. Even though the light from the rising sun was dim, I could still see his face. "Roronoa..?" I asked. I have not looked at him this way. This was the closest that I can go. I took the chance, or even taken advantage of it. I looked closer to have a better look. I balanced myself with my hands at each his sides touching the ground. "Roronoa." I whispered into the air.

He was still breathing. I was right, he was extremely gorgeous and he looked exactly as I imagine him to be. I examined him more only to notice that he was not wearing his typical white shirt, dark green boots and shorts. He was wearing a navy unbuttoned shirt and his _haramaki_ still around his waist. He was wearing a tattered brown shorts and wooden slippers. I noticed his bandana on the ground.

"Oh my!" I drew back when I finally saw his six packs. Oh and what's this? He had a long scar that ran from his left shoulder to his right waist. It must've been a battle scar. But why too long? No! What am I doing?!

I stood up in an alarm when I came back to reality. I bit on my nails and felt really ignorant like a child. I shouldn't be doing this! I'm a Marine and he's a pirate! It cannot work between us! I started pulling on my hair. What am I to do?!

Should I leave him here? Should I call for someone so he can be... arrested? But then, there's a part of me that doesn't want him to get arrested at all. I know that deep in my heart I do not want to see him behind bars… but I know he's suppose to be there. I think it's wrong. Well, my heart thinks it's wrong yet my mind opposes it. I may keep on repeating that he deserves to be imprisoned but I cannot lie saying that I am happy to see him there. I cannot lie to myself.

So what now? This is getting very annoying and frustrating. I rubbed my face and looked at him once more. _What's the matter, Tashigi? He's here, unconscious. He is ripe for the taking. Take him! Arrest him and be promoted from it!_ A voice in my mind yelled. "I cannot." I cried. "I do not have the guts to."

_But my dear, whatever happened to your so called justice? That justice that you discarded your life into?_ I scratched my head and felt like weeping. I really do not know what to do. I start to shake. "I don't want to. I'm sorry." I said to myself. _Then what now? What are you going to do with an unconscious dead looking pirate? _"I don't know. Take him home, nurse him till he is alright. Hide him there." I followed my heart and ignored my mind.

I bent down to grab Roronoa's left arm and pulled him up gently. It was the second time that my flesh and his united. I'm going to take him to my little house and God knows what shall happen next…

* * *

**L.R.; **Ah, so you reached the end! Thanks for reading!


	2. My property

**L.R.; **I was so glad that someone faved it and reviewed! Now this is for you guys!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

The sun has risen and it is now 9:31 in the morning. I have been keeping track of the time. I am here right now sitting on a wooden chair looking straight into my enemy as he lay on my bed still unconcious. I had nursed his bruise and cut on his head. Now it was time for him to nurse himself back to life. I pursed my lips and clenched the part of my baggy shorts that lay on my knees. I had been staring at him for hours now and let me tell you it is _not _easy.

And that's all I did, I refuse to touch him, hold him or even too get close to him, I can only go as far as four feet away from him. I may have _feelings_ for him yet my feelings always somewhat changes all the time. I hated myself for taking him here. Now why does my mind work this way? He suddenly shifted from his sleep and at the same time moaning. I saw him frown, maybe in agony. I felt a tingle down my spine and I clenched the piece of fabric on my knees. I wanted to run away, maybe disappear or hide before he see me and get funny ideas why the hell he's on my bed.

I bit my lip just to make sure that this is not a nightmare_._ It's not. _Damn you, Tashigi! Damn you to hell!_ I yelled in my mind. Crap, he's going to wake up, scream and run away because of my face. Why? What's wrong with my face. I touched my cheek.

"Aah.. " Roronoa slowly let out a soft moan and sat up while holding the left part of his head.

"Eeek!" I cried as quiet as a mice. I shuddered. Now what? I wanted to swallow but there was nothing to swallow. My mouth was dry. I'm gonna die of dehydration and please just let me die.

"Uhn.. " He did it again. He still had his eyes closed tugging to his head and I think he's pulling his green short hair. I frown at him making sure that when he look at me, he see me looking at him angrily. I gasped when I remembered his swords. He must not have it! I looked at where I placed them and they all leaned against the closet.

"Agh.." He goes again, at the pain.

I took a deep breath, gathering my guts, and said, "And so we meet again, Roronoa."

He blinked a few times and looked at me. He seemed to focus when he narrowed his eyes. He's checking me. I could feel my cheeks burning up. Why does he have to look at me that way. I clenched my teeth together and we stared at each other for a long time that seemed like forever. There was a _very _awkward silence in the air. I looked away.

"Ahem! Are you not going to say anything? Anything at all?" I asked. Crap! I really want to slap myself in the forehead now as hard as I can just to knock me out cold. What was I thinking?! Why the helldid I ask that?! Was he suppose to say anything? Maybe but no!

He looked away and his face looked so bothered so confused. "What.. where am I?" He asked. And I raised my eyebrows. So what do I say? 'You are in my house, Roronoa Zoro, welcome!' Hell no! "Who am I?" He asked once more staring straight at me. I heard a quiver in his voice as if he was about to cry real hard.

I couldn't believe him at first but soon it became clear to me that Roronoa Zoro has amnesia. My enemy is vulnerable before me. I shook my head. "You don't.. remember?" I asked dumbly. He looked at me still with those innocent eyes. He shook his head. I sighed and felt my voice shudder when I spoke. "Goodness.. " I became even more nervous. I might just have a nervous breakdown any minute now.

"You're..- are you sure you don't remember anything? Anything at all?" I asked again, making sure that I heard right. Roronoa looked bothered once again that I think any minute now he's about to cry. I got up from the chair and decided to maybe sit on the bed with him but no, I'm too shy. I never wanted to be near him.

"You're-.. " I paused and reflected. Roronoa Zoro has amnesia. I don't want him getting caught or going out. I need to control him. I need him to cooperate with me. I want him not to go out because if he will, all hell will break loose, literally. I had a stupid idea and that idea might just be my only way to control him. I think it's my only chance. I looked at him straight in the eye. Whatever I'm going to say I hope it will work.

I breathed out_. _"You are my husband." I dared say, I could feel a lump on my throat when I said those painful words.

He stared at me just like he did at the beginning. "Oh." He nodded and looked at the covers of the bed. "And.. when did we got married?" Why does he have to ask that?

"We got married.." I could not look at his eyes any longer. ".. two months ago. It was.. an arranged marriage." He became quiet. "I see." He blinked. "And did we ever-" "No no! Not.. yet." I cut him short. I knew what the question was gonna be and I know as hell I would not like him. It will only cause my death.

He frowned, I know he did. "But why not?" He asked. I shot a look at him. "Are you crazy?!" I growled. "I don't wanna' get pre-" Then I quickly stopped my large blabbering mouth. "Uhm.. no. I'm sorry." I turned around, feeling very stupid. I have lied enough and I cannot go on any longer.

"Tell me more." He begged like a little boy asking for more stories."Huh?" I hummed not looking at him."Where are our families? Our parents? Where do they live?" He asked.

"They're.. away." I said and gesturing with my hand shoved away. "In the island where we used to live." I sighed and turned to him. "Listen, Roronoa-" "Roronoa?" He frowned. "Is that my name?" I watched him grimaced. "How awkward!" I smiled then laughed. "Ahaha! I know isn't it just crazy?!"

He looked at me. "Why so long?" I shook my head and got a little bit serious. "I don't know. And.. well yeah, you're name is Roronoa Zoro." "Zoro.. " He echoed once more. "Yes, listen. I don't want you going away around the woods and not especially in the town. I want you to stay here all day." I said pointing my index finger to the floor.

He frowned once again. "Why? Is something the matter outside?" "Ah yes.. something is really wrong outside." I lied. "It's very, _very _dangerous out there. When the men in white see you, they'll... poke yer bottom with sharp large forks!" I scared him. As if it would work.

"What have I done to them?" Damn, he believed me. He sounded like a wimpy little boy.

I looked to the side. "Well.. you didn't.. really did anything to them. Just that, they hate men with.. " I couldn't think of anything else to say and I looked at his head. ".. green hair." What a stupid crazy answer.

He touched his head looking down. "Oh.." At that time my cheeks flushed and I realized that I was standing too near to him. I drew back. He just looked so darn... cute. Shit, Tashigi! "And.. ah.. I have to go." I flung my hand. "To work... yeah whatever!"

I started getting ready to report to the Captain. I slid my Shigure in my waist and put on my hooded jacket. "There's food on the table. Help yourself." I paused and glared at him. "Roronoa, I don't want you going out, you here me?" I pointed a finger at him. He nodded. "Okay… well,"

Before I completely disappeared from the house I heard him yell from the bedroom, "Have a nice day, _my wife!_" That hit and crushed my heart so hard. What have I done?

****

"Sergeant Major Tashigi reporting for duty, sir!" I saluted in front of my busy looking Captain. He was shuffling into some papers. Some were wanted posters some where.. I didn't know what some were.

"Yes, yes enough with the formalities." The Captain sighed and waved his hand in front of him. He took a deep suck from his two cigars that were stuck between his lips. Then he looked at me. "Where were you this morning, Sergeant? I haven not seen you out there." He asked with his deep booming voice. He made me feel as if I did something very criminal like, which was very true.

I looked to the side and feeling guilty I looked him straight in the eye. "Sir, I was uh.. chasing after Roronoa." I think maybe I should let him see that the same routine happened once again. "And I.." I hated myself now. I dramatically pinched my nose saying, "I uhm... tripped, sir." I heard him sighed deeply and he rubbed his face shaking his head. The plan worked. "I.. tripped among some apple baskets and he ran away. I could not chase after him because I broke my glasses."

He looked at me once again and raised an eyebrow when he saw my 'not-broken-glasses' hanging on my jacket on the chest part. I did not remember it. I'm such a bad liar.. well not really. I hold on to it and answered quickly. "Oh ah.. this is a reserve, sir."

"Mm.. " He grumbled and shifted through the papers once again. I think he lost interest on me. "They've gotten stronger now, Sergeant. So you watch out for that Roronoa. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean he won't strike you. That does not change anything. You do know that, yes?"

I nodded. "Yes sir." I know Roronoa, I fought him.

"He might just suddenly slice of yer head." He kept on going without looking at me. He grabbed all the papers and crumpled them all. Damn, his hands are big. "Right then, you need back up?" He asked not looking at me.

"No sir. I prefer to work alone. For now."

****

I think the Captain seemed to have some mind power. Like those people who can read thoughts. I think he read mine... or maybe I was too obvious. My emotions are too obvious. Why does this happen all the time. I made my way through the crowds of busy merchants and shoppers of the town. I looked around suspiciously for any spies. They could be anywhere you know, infiltrating the town.

I think I'm getting paranoid. Do you think so? I think so. I walked pass a shop for men and I stopped. Maybe it would be nice if I buy Roronoa some clothes. Something to wear of course. At least by just doing that I could repay him for even just a little bit. The idea made me smile.

Just yesterday evening I was watching his face from just a piece of paper. And just awhile ago I have been staring and talking to him. Now he is at home, waiting for me to go home. When I walked out from the shop I had carried two shopping bags now. (The other was full of foods I bought awhile ago.) Then two Marine soldiers greeted me. I was surprised and I knew they were too.

"S-Sergeant!" They both saluted. I could hear a slight fear and shock from their voices. Then their eyes shifted into the paper bag that was full of Zoro's clothes. I quickly hid them behind me.

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat. "How is the patrolling going on?" I asked. "Have any of the straw hats been spotted?" I asked ironically since I have one in my house, in my room.

The soldier in the left shook his head. "Not yet, ma'am, but we will."

I nodded and walked away. I could hear them whispering to each other saying how I really want to be a man. I know how dangerous my situation is right now. If they found out about what I am doing they will not hesitate to report me. I might be imprisoned for the rest of my life or be fired from my position. Roronoa might be killed since he is as vulnerable as a baby chick right now.

I don't understand myself anymore. Sometimes I hope I didn't do what I did. Sometimes I think it was better if I arrested him and see him imprisoned. But then again my heart would want me to keep him and I think I'm more comfortable with it than the other one. It does feel kinda' good when I know that the one I am fantasizing is at home. But I know that one day I will have to let go of him.He will disappear from me…

The thought of that made the corners of my eyes feel hot. My stomach churned. I used to lie on my bed thinking about him. I always smile every time I pretend we were not enemies and make up these little stories in my head about how we became together. Yes, I am acting like a love struck teenager. But why does fate have to play with me in this way?

I have been dreaming about him and only him. He had infiltrated my mind and stolen my heart. What else would he do to me next? I admit. I like staring at his face in my room back in the boat when I am least busy. I just like doing it. I just love to drown and loose myself in his now that almost all of my thoughts had come true and I have a complete control of him, I cannot do what I always want to do to him. I feel very guilty. I should maybe be imprisoned.

Then another idea came in my head. I stopped for a second. Wait a minute. What if this was all just a sick joke? What if Roronoa had been making fun of me all along? What if he had ran away? My left eye twitched. I quickly ran as fast as I can towards my house. If he ran away with his swords and is laughing at how stupid I am for believing that he had amnesia? Then in that case my feelings for him are long gone.

Ack! And then what could he be thinking right now when I lied to him saying he's my husband? I clenched my teeth so hard. He might've had the idea that I have fallen in love with him! I won't let him live! I barged in my house almost knocking off the door. I screamed, **"Roronoa!!"** So loud.

Then I saw him ran to the living room. Panic drawn across his face. He looked like a naughty boy who did something really bad that made mommy so mad. Then everything changed. I dropped the bags on the ground together with my jaw. My face turned completely crimson red and it started burning. Roronoa came to me with only his boxers on.

"Is something wrong?" He asked stupidly.

"Ofcourse something is wrong!" I yelled as I quickly dropped to the ground facing my back to Roronoa. "What's wrong with you?!" I yelled and reached out to the door to close it.

"I.. well!" He stammered looking around. He doesn't seem to know what he did wrong. "Uhm.. my clothes were dirty and I.. realized that the mud from my clothes were spreading over the bed so I thought of getting changed." He bit his lips and looked at me. "I looked for any clothes in the closet but all of them were too small for me. I think they are all yours." He said and I looked at his innocent eyes. "I didn't have the chance to change when you called for me.. angrily. I was.. afraid that I did something wrong. Your voice was too scary and demanding."

I felt so bad, so guilty. Why do I have to be so mean to him? "Well.. why.. uhm.. why won't you think about covering even just half of your body with even just anything you can find?" I managed to ask. I slowly got up and looked at the ground, I do not want to see his semi naked body.

He sighed and scratched his head. "Because.. I thought it was alright." He looked at me warmly. "Since you are my wife after all." My blood pumped so fast once again. My heart started beating wildly in my chest. It's trying to break out once again. My face began to swell with my blood that seemed to be clogging in my face. I found it hard to breath so I opened my mouth. My eyes fell to the ground after looking at him. Then there was silence.

"Can I help you?" He asked and I looked at him, in his face, not body. He was looking at the shopping bags on the ground. I snapped back to reality and shook my head to wake up. "Ah.. y-yeah sure." I picked the other bag and he did to the other.

I smiled when he looked in the bag that he was holding. He headed to the bed room while I stayed in the door way. "They're your clothes!" I said gladly. He looked at me and his eyes lightened up with his changed emotion. "Really?!" He asked as if I gave him golds and diamonds. "Yeah!" I grinned. I went to the kitchen and placed the bag of foods on the table then I went to him to the bedroom.

He sat on the bed and poured all his clothes. I bit my lower lip as I sat and look at his happy face. I feel so happy when I looked at him. "What do you think I should wear?" He asked. I woke up and looked at the clothes that he lay on the bed. He lined three pairs of shirts and shorts.

"Well.. " I pointed to a white sleeveless shirt and army camouflage shorts. "I like that one. I would wear that if I were you." I looked at him to see his reaction.

He kept on smiling then he picked them up and said. "Alright, I'll wear them." I was surprised. He actually obeyed me! "We-wait! You're going to follow what I said?" I asked dumbfounded. He nodded as he straightened his sleeveless shirt. "Sure. I mean why not?" Unbelievable. "Do I look good?" He smiled looking at me. I smiled back. The white sleeveless shirt sticked into his body revealing his shape. I nodded. "Of course.." I said under my breath.

We started at each other. I soon realized that I was loosing myself just by staring at his eyes. He smiled again but this time showing all his white teeth. They seem to sparkle at me, might've blind me for I woke up from my little fantasy world and said, "Ah-ah.." Shaking. I went to the kitchen and took all the foods from the food paper bag. (You can see the kitchen from the bedroom.)

"Ahm.. you hungry? I mean do you.. want to eat fruits? A snack? Anything at all?" I asked as I placed all the contents of the bag to the table, arranging them.

"Tell me.." I took up all the air to my lungs. I paused for awhile and looked straight. Roronoa was near me. Very near that I could feel his breath against the back of my neck. I turned around only to find him face to face with me. Our faces were only inches away from eachother. He started at me as if I was a piece of meat. I had a feeling that Roronoa wanted me and only me to devour_._ I could feel it in the air. "What was my job? What is your job?" He asked. It's time for question and answer once again.

"You were.. ah.." I could think right. He was too near me. He leaned alittle closer putting his left hand on the table, balancing himself. ".. a fisherman, slash.. uh.. farmer." I lied. "I'm.. a security guard.. in a jewellery store." I swallowed nothing. My mouth was dry.

"And who were my friends?" "They are not here. They're back in the island where we came from." I looked down, happy that I could help looking away from his intense eyes. They were too intense that I could feel them piercing through my skull. I feel him sigh and look to the side.

Then I was happy because he became quiet once again. I wanted to turn my back from him then he asked. "By the way.." There was a slight malice in his voice. My mouth opened slightly. "You have not told me your name yet." I bit my tongue. Should I tell him my name? "Tashigi." I looked at him in the eyes. "My name is Tashigi."

He grinned and bit his lower lip. "Mmm~ Tashigi.." He repeated as if tasting my name. He took the reddest apple. "When.. we first met. Was I attracted to you?" I shook my head and blinked. "I don't remember. We never really talk to each other much.. unlike now." He nodded.

I finally turned around, frowning. I pretended to be busy by continuing to arrange the groceries on the table. "We haven't had much time getting to know each other and after five days since we got married, we moved here and on the very same day, you took a stroll on the woods and hit your head on a .. branch. I found you lying there."

"Then why didn't you change my clothes?" He stayed beside me, on the chair and frowned at me. He clenched on the apple as if not changing his clothes was such a big deal. Okay now he didn't look cute anymore. He's sounded very annoying. He's making everything hard for me. Is that his purpose of living? To make my life even harder that it seemed? I dramatically held unto my head and pulled the chair from my right side. "Uhn! My head hurts." I closed my eyes to add in the drama.

"Oh I'm sorry!" He got up and kneeled in front of me. "Do you need anything? Anything at all?" He offered. "Can I massage your head?"

I looked at him and smiled faintly. "No it's alright." I swallowed. "You can ah... help by not moving too close to me." He stood up and sat back on his chair like an obedient little boy. I felt the atmosphere change. As I massage my forehead I peeked at him. He was looking down at his fingers. There was a sad aura coming from him.

"I'm sorry." He looked guilty and maybe stupid. He slowly looked up at me but not completely to my face. "You must... hate me as your husband."

My heart twisted and I slowly dropped my hand to the table. I felt a sharp knife stabbing my heart every time I look at his sad eyes. Why do I do this? Why am I hurting him? It's true what they said. Why do we always hurt the ones we love? I felt so guilty. I have a heavy burden planted on my heart now.

I shook my head and moved my chair closer to him. My right hand worked on their way to his knees.

"Baby, no." "_Baby?"_ My eyebrows shot up. Oh shit did I said that? "Ahum.. I mean, Zoro." I frowned at myself. "I'm sorry. I'm just too… stressed out today. So many things had happened. And I'm really not used to you asking too much questions and so… near me."

"Ah." He drew back slightly. He smiled at me. Finally his eyes doesn't look sad anymore. No one knows how much I am keeping myself from hugging him or doing intimate with him right now. It's hard. I even found myself shaking with anxiety. But I cannot do such things as those. He is not mine _at all_. I looked down feeling the heavy sadness in my chest and stomach.

Noticing my emotion, Roronoa asked, "Is something the matter, again?" And to make me even more into him, he asked while cupping my chin to look at him. My eyes were half closed now and my mouth opened slightly. I could not help myself staring into his lips. I was bewitched. "I think my... head ache has subsided." Then I smiled.

"Then that's better." His eyes sparkled as he smiled widely. He pulled back and stood up. He went to the stove and took a pan and saucer. "So when I still had my memory, do I cook for you? Do I serve you? Make you feel better?" He asked and looked at me once again. "Anyway, I'll try cooking." I was glad that he even knew how to turn on the stove.

I kept on smiling. Why not play along? I cleared my throat and with the best formal voice that I could come up with, I said, "Then I will have beef stake and sweet corn, please." "Coming right up!" He gladly said. He took out a can of corn and a beef meat from the fridge. He started slicing the beef. I couldn't see how he does it.

I placed my elbow on the table and on my palm my chin. I looked at my company and thought, _So this is how it feels to have a husband serving for you?_ I hope this was all true. I hope this is not a dream. I hope he really is my husband. I hope I did not have to lie. Then I thought, _Would the real Roronoa Zoro ever do this for me?_

"Ow!" He cried and dropped the knife on the chopping board. I instantly jumped from my seat and ran across the table to him. "What happened?" I took his left hand gently and he handed it to me. He cut his index finger and slowly, the crimson blood dripped unto the sink. "Tsk! Look what you did. You should've let me do it instead."

Suddenly, I drew his bloody finger into my mouth and I sucked. I sucked his blood, savouring it as if a vampire would do. I pulled away and wiped the corners of my lips, swallowing the red rusty taste. I looked up at him and he stared at me with emotionless expression. His mouth agape slightly. We started at each other.

"Roronoa.." "Uhm.. that's alright." He frowned and shook his head slowly.

"Hold up. Let me put plaster around it so it won't get infected." I reached out to the first aid kit that was sticking on the wall. I took out the roll of plaster and scissors. Gently, I wrapped a piece of plaster around the cut. "There." I leaned forward and kissed it. I looked at him and smiled. "Tomorrow that will be as good as new!" "Of course."

I let go of his hand and went to his other side where he was chopping before. "Now just sit back and let me do the job." He nodded still looking at me. "Thank you." He whispered. Finally, after what I did, he stayed quiet. He was in the bedroom. I just realized that I can't believe what I did awhile ago. Everything was a haze back then. My mind was so clouded with too much emotion that I no longer knew who I was and can no longer think straight. I became so impulsive.

****

That night, Zoro and I lay together on my bed. It was suppose to be only me sleeping but now there's two of us. I was on the right side, he was on the left. I had my back facing him and I was so far away from him that I could almost feel myself falling to the ground. That's not it all. I know Roronoa had been throwing stares at me from the back. I could feel them liked daggers piercing through my spine. He took a deep breath. "Do we.. always sleep like this?" He asked.

I too took a deep breath and frowned. "What do you mean?" "Like... this?" He shifted through the bed. "You are too far away. I don't recall a husband and a wife sleeping this way." "Well.. we're different." I shrugged. I closed my eyes, still frowning. "Sleep, Roronoa, we have a bright morning ahead of us."

"Alright." He said with a sigh.

I have a complete control over him now. The plan was a major success. I pressed my head even harder on the pillow. I admit, I love his company. Feeling him always near me makes me strong yet conscious all the time. Still, being nervous was never out of my system. When he leaned closer to me awhile ago, I thought he was gonna' do something crazy that will make me hit him so hard.

Slowly, I turned to my left side, looking at him. I did it carefully and silently to make sure he won't wake up and see me staring at him. I can see him clearly now with the help of the moon light. I can make out the outlines of his face. His closed eyes, his nose, his lips. All of it. I had always said that I hate them just to make sure maybe I do. I forced myself into saying that. But like I said, I cannot lie to myself. I loved them all.

"Zoro.." I whispered in the darkness. He did not respond which was a good thing. I just want to wrap my arms around him now and feel his warmth. "You.. made me want you even more." I continued. _I love him_. I love him so much that I don't want him away from me ever. I closed my eyes. I will not let him get away. He will be mine and mine alone. Yes, I am a liar. A selfish liar.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the woods. Maybe look for a great place to make a small house for him to hide because I will not let anyone take him away from me… never.

* * *

**L.R.;** Thank you for reading. Please tell me what you think.. if it's alright.


	3. The woods

**L.R.; **Thank you so much people! I can't believe this story would be read. You are all _very clever _for figuring out.. things_. _And I am deeply sorry for taking too long on this. Christmas week is so busy!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

I woke up as soon as the dim light of dawn hit my face from the window. I rose up quietly making sure that the person sleeping beside me wouldn't be disturbed. I pushed back my wavy hair and looked down at him. Roronoa was sleeping soundly covered by the covers completely. I longed to touch him but I stopped myself.

Soon, I stood up, washed my face, gargled and changed. I need to get into the woods and just like what I said last night, I need a place for him to hide. I slid in Shigure to my waist just for protection. I looked back at him one last time then I went out of the house. I know I could have lied to him that I'm going to work but I don't want to. And I hope that he would stop asking too much questions.

Since it was only the break of dawn, the woods was dark and slippery. Moss was covering almost everything in sight. The air was chilly and it seemed to whisper at my ear saying 'go back'. That made me walk slowly and thought twice. But I tried to ignore it and kept walking. It kept on whispering to me and made me walk faster now.

My paranoia is starting to get me once again. I got nervous once again when the woods swayed and the mild wind whispered at me. From the darkness, I could feel eyes glaring at me. I am their prey. I quickened my pace and almost tripping and sliding through the mossy ground.

I know I shouldn't be scared. I know it was all just in my mind. I swallowed hard and walked over some moss covered logs and rocks, making sure my clumsiness won't take me over too. I held unto Shigure's handle and frowned while looking forward. I looked everywhere as if any minute now someone might attack me from every corners.

I am a Sergeant of Captain Smoker's Marine, I cannot be taken lightly by the stupid ideas in my mind. I can't brain wash myself. I shook the idea of backing out. This is for Roronoa and if I want to keep him, I'll do whatever it takes. It makes me smile at the idea that he was my inspiration. I clenched my fist and gnashed my teeth at the sudden change of emotion.

Angrily and stupidly I growled. "I'm not afraid of any of you!" I was looking back. I started stomping over the mossy ground and started breaking the old dead logs. I felt enraged and somehow very stupid and child like. "How'd you like this, huh? You like that?!" I felt like a spoiled little girl who's angry at daddy for not buying enough candies.

"Haha!" I laughed evilly. After feeling too stupid and immature, I came back to my senses, though I should've had before. I looked around everything around me was quiet. No one was there or had been there. The whispering wind had stopped. I blinked and frowned. "Hmpf!" I turned and threw my short hair to the side. "Whatever."

I continued walking towards my unknown or non-existing destination. After all that stupidity, I was calm and cool. Maybe my mind only need a little 'shaking'. I was walking without a care in the world. Then suddenly, I heard a twig snap from behind. Oh no!

I looked back and slid out Shigure from his sheath. I stared at the dim light of the forest. "What was that?" I whispered just under my breath. I clenched my teeth together again and tightly wrapped my fingers around Shigure's handle.

I listened to the footsteps and when the vibrations rang in my ear, I knew where the noise was coming from. I jumped some feet away from where I was and swung Shigure in the air but my sword was stopped. And my opponent was.. "R-Roronoa?" I asked unbelievably.

He stated at me with large dark eyes. His mouth was closed. "Tashigi.." He whispered. Roronoa had stopped my sword from cutting his neck with his left hand. I gasped and dropped my sword on the ground. I grabbed his hand and examined it, looking for any deep cuts. Luckily it was not bleeding. He did something that prevented me from cutting him thoroughly. If he didn't, if he did not had a little bit of skill still in him, his life would've been over and I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I was breathing hard through my mouth. Slowly I looked up at him and my eyes met his. "Were you.." I couldn't find any words. "Did I scared you or... or hurt you at all?" Panic was attacking me once again. "My god, Roronoa." I sighed.

"Why did you left me?" He seemed to whine, sadly. I dropped his hand slowly and picked up Shigure from where I dropped him. I slid my sword back to its sheath. I took a deep breath and frowned at him. "Why did you disobey me?" I was not angry but surely frustrated. I was frustrated because... because my plan didn't really work completely, though I thought it did. I raked my fingers through my navy hair and pulled out three or four hair.

My heart was thumping in my chest. I closed my eyes and tears were welling up in them. I don't want to cry in front of him. I want to fight them back. "I.. could've killed you." That was unbearable, saying those words. I can't imagine killing him with my own hands. I rubbed my face pretending I was rubbing them because I was annoyed or something like that.

"I'm.. sorry. I really am." He apologised and hold unto my wrist. "Are you mad at me?" He asked. I looked at him and shook my head. "I'm sorry, again. I just.. I had a nightmare and I could not sleep back." I squinted at him. "Nightmare? What kind of nightmare?" I was curious about this. He shook his head. "You weren't.. No no, it doesn't matter. Uhm.. just awhile ago when you left the house, I was in the kitchen. You didn't saw me."

My eyebrows shot up. "You were looking at the empty bed. You looked very sad and disturbed so I didn't interrupt you." Okay that was embarrassing! He had to see me looking all dramatic. I felt my nerve on my forehead swell and thump. I turned around. "Ah.. well.. that was not necessary." I pinched my nose. "Anyway, since you are with me now, let's start.. walking."

From my back, Roronoa happily grabbed my left hand into his right. I felt him pull me slightly so we could walk together. I looked at him surprised and quite embarrassed at the sudden touch. He grinned at me as if nothing happened awhile ago. I still felt like a killer.

"You didn't greet me good morning." He pouted looking at me. I raised an eyebrow then looked away shyly. "Ah.. well.. good morning." Now that was awkward and lame. "Why do you seem nervous?" He asked not wanting to look away from me. I frowned and pulled a face at him. "N-nervous? Tcha! Why… why would I be.. nervous?" I asked and swallowed hard.

He pointed at my hand in his. "You are shaking and your palm is all sweaty." Indeed it was. I pulled it from him and inserted it unto the pocket of my hoodie. He grabbed it and I pulled it back. He grabbed and I pulled. The same routine happened again and again.

"Okay enough!" I yelled at him. I placed my hands on his shoulders and looked down while taking in air. Then I looked at him and smiled. "Baby, uhm.. why don't you just uh.. forget what I said awhile ago and.. go back home." I continued making up the fake smile on my face. "There are.. ah.. blood sucking creatures around here that only drink.. blood from.. I dunno, men." Then I shrugged. I wanted to scare him.

But he stared at me as if I was the dumbest dumb person he ever knew. He shook his head and said, "Hah?" I sighed and continued walking to the unknown. "Can I.." He started. I looked at him from my side. "Can I hold your hand, now?" He asked kindly.

"Eh?" I was taken aback. "Why for?" He looked around as if searching for answers then he scratched his temple. "I'm.. afraid I might get lost." Oh why does he have to be like this? He's making everything hard for me once again. My head started throbbing and I massaged my forehead. "Alright." I sighed. "I'll bring you back home." I grabbed his elbow.

He jerked it back and frowned at me. "No I want to stay with you!" He growled. That was the first time he ever yelled at me, aside from before when he still had his memories. "Always." He continued. A breath escaped from between my lips. I blinked at him. "What were you doing here anyway?" I was glad that he stopped me from being too cliché again.

"I wa-.. uhm.." What? What's going to be my answer? "I am looking for.. mountain vegetables. Y-yeah, I remembered you liked them." I nodded. Roronoa looked around, to the ground and shrugged. "Under the thick green moss?" He asked. "There are.. vegetables here?" Once again I did not use my head.

"Just-!" I sighed heavily. I started walking past him and threw my hands to the air and drop them yelling. "Whatever!" I walked back to him and pulled his hands so we can walk together and he can be all happy and quiet.

Just as expected he was happy and to prove it, he was almost swaying our hands back and forth. Then I wonder. Do people who have amnesia always this happy? I thought they were always so disturbed and confused not to mention depress. Then how come Roronoa's always so unbelievably happy? Is it the opposite for him? Then I wonder once again. Before he got amnesia, was he depressed. I took a glance at him and he grinned at me showing only the teeth on the right side of his mouth. That signature smug smile of him. He's evil image that I always thought of appeared in my mind. I almost wanted to push him away but then he's gonna be so sensitive and I'm gonna be feeling very mean and wicked. Nah

"Have we ever done this before?" He asked and made a gesture with his hand while he continued, "I mean before we lived here on the island?" His never ending stare never cease to make me look away. I shook my head. "We've only done this twice now." I answered and smiled at him briefly then looked in front, to where we were heading.

"Ah.." Finally I could feel him look into the direction where I was looking. "Then maybe we should do this more often. I like this place. Sometimes I feel good when I'm alone." Then he looked at me once again. I could not help looking back at him. I knew this conversation was going into a new and intimate topic. "But not always." He smiled warmly.

Cliché-ness started enveloping me once again but I have to shook it away and get on with what I have to do. "Ah.. ahm. We should keep uhm.. looking for those vegetables."

***CRUNCH!***

After that ring in my ear, I pulled out Shigure with a blink of an eye then guarded Roronoa, he stood behind me and I'll keep it that way. Shit! Are the Marines here? Have they been stalking us? Have they finally found out about my secret? I clenched Shigure and a sweat ran down from my armpits. So what's going to happen to me? To Roronoa? I glared at the darkness to where I heard to noise.

"What is it?" Roronoa whispered in my ear. "Ssh!"

Then from the darkness came out a small thin figure. There came a small boy. His clothes were almost ragged and old. His hair was bushy. He was about seven years. "I… I'm sorry." His voice shuddered. He was clenching unto the fabric of his shirt. "Did I.. scare you?" He asked.

Then I lowered my sword and took in air. I licked my dry lips and examined the little man. I sheathed Shigure. Before I almost killed Roronoa and now a boy. Damn it. Maybe I should take it all easy. I'm paranoid and too over protective. I looked down to the side and rubbed my forehead. I was never like this before.

"Hey, boy." Roronoa walked from my back to boy and kneeled in front of him. The boy stepped back from him. "I apologise. You really gave us a fright. My wife didn't mean to uhm.. hurt you. She's really nice! You ah.. you were just such a good.." He was searching for words. ".. surprise-er!"

I lifted my eyebrows at the figure of Roronoa. What? What a dumb word. Does that even exist. See, I'm not the only one who makes up this lame answers. Or maybe I infected him. "Where do you live?" I interrupted. Both Roronoa and the boy looked at me. Roronoa looked back at him once again. I knew he was smiling, the corners of his cheek swelled in a way when he smiled. "Yeah, do you live here? Do you have mountain vegetables? My wife said I love them."

The boy's eyes sparkled at the same time when he smiled. He nodded. "Yeah! We've got loads of mountain crops in the village!" He squealed. "We'll take you there!" I squinted at him. "We?" The boy looked back to where he came from and yelled, "Come on out, guys! They're okay!"

Then came out four children. They comfortably walked towards Roronoa but I think they were avoiding me. They all almost looked the same. Their hair were dark and also were their complexion. Roronoa stood up. "So, where's your village?"

****

I was right even from the beginning when I got in my small rented house. There was a hidden village in the woods. The children brought us there. Their houses were made up of woods and over the long thick branches of long old trees, there were also houses connected to each other by hanging bridges. Some were watch towers, though they look more like thin huts.

There was a large circular camp fire in the middle which encircled the houses. It seems that this was their meeting ground or the place where they stay at night, around the fire. The villagers didn't wore much clothes from the outside world. Most of their clothes were, I think, made by themselves. I haven't seen any of them before. They were mostly coloured in brown. Some, whom I think were maidens, wore skirts made up of thin coconut leaves.

They giggled when they walked past Roronoa then whispered to one another. Now that annoyed me but I tried to ignore that fact. Roronoa blushed and looked all cutesy. Okay now that was just… I don't know, infuriating. Whatever!

"Hi. Uh hi!" He greeted to each young maidens that he comes across. "Hi." I glared at him, my arms akimbo as we kept following the little kids. My piercing eyes stayed glaring at him, almost flaming. He noticed me and shuddered. Three other maiden greeted him with their palms on each other and bowed slightly to him. "Hi. Hi, I have a wife." He stammered and smiled at me nervously.

_Jeez, Tashigi. Cut this crap you're trying to pull. _My mind said once again. Sometimes I missed its annoying company, not always my heart. _I know okay. I don't have the right to get mad at him. He's actually the one who's suppose to be mad._ I talked to myself. The sun was slowly rising up over the small village.

"Ah visitors from the outside world!" An old gypsy woman clapper her hands when the children brought us to her. She put her palms together and bowed slightly to us. I did the same. The other people behind her made the same gesture. She moved side ways and said, "Sit. Sit!" She offered to the thick wide leaves that lay on the ground.

We did what she asked for. They were all staring at us. Feeling embarrassed I nodded and waved. "Oh uhm.. hi! We ah.. we're glad that you are all looking good!" I gave them a thumbs up. They all laughed at me and I felt like shrinking. "Haha! The whole tribe seem to like you both." The old woman said. "So, what is your reason for visiting our abode?" She asked.

"We uh.." I stammered. Exactly what were we doing here once again? All I knew was that I came in to the woods only to search for an open space. "We were hunting for mountain vegetables!" Roronoa pointed out and I was glad he helped me.

"Ah!" The old woman clapped her hands. "We have a lot of them! Most are very rare. Most people from the outside negotiates with us and trades their goods with our mountain crops." She paused. "Will you negotiate as well?" She asked and grinned. An idea rang in my mind.

I smiled coyly at her. I placed my folded index finger on my chin and looked at her from my red framed glasses. "Ah yes." I nodded. Roronoa looked at me with a question mark on his face. I looked around. "Mm. I noticed you have no guards whatsoever."

The old woman nodded. "Yes. We have lost most of them. Some pirates invaded our village and murder almost all our warriors. The instructors and teachers were also killed." She looked down. "We have no more defence." I nodded. "Well then I shall be your defence." I heard most of the people beside us gasped then whispered to each other.

"You?" The old woman asked. I nodded. "Yes. I am trained in the way of the sword. I was raised with it." I smiled at her. "You can trust me." I looked at Roronoa and winked. He smiled at me.

The old woman smiled and clapped once again. "Then I am happy to oblige! What shall you trade?" "Oh I won't trade." I said. "If it is alright, my.." I paused and tried not to choke on the words. "Would it be alright if I let my husband stay here for sometime and if I collect.. let's say four types of mountain vegetables?"

"Yes ofcourse!" The old woman smacked her hands together once more.

Easy money. Now I won't have to build a house for Roronoa to stay, because I have no abilities of making such things. I stayed with the old woman and the older people around me. We were all sitting on the same place and we started smoking through this long thick pipe. There was something inside it, probably tobacco. They were passing it to one another sucking and breathing out thick purple haze. They passed it back to me once again and I refused saying it was against my 'job'. They did not mind.

I longed for Roronoa, craning my neck as long as I can. I saw him playing with the kids we saw earlier. He was chasing them making out this ugly face. They all screamed and ran away from him. I bit my lower lip and giggled.

"Your husband is a fine young man!" The old woman elbowed me. I looked at her and when she spoke, purple smoke came out from her mouth. I pulled a face and smiled forcedly. "Ah thank you!" I bowed slightly.

Some young maiden came to Roronoa once again and handed him fruits. That made my blood boil. He was scratching the back of his neck and he was shaking his head, as if refusing from something they said. He and the other kids came a little closer to where I was sitting. I pretended that they weren't there, chatting to the older people around me.

But I was secretly eavesdropping, then I felt Roronoa and the kids' eyes on me. "-she's a really nice wife.." I heard him whispered to the kids. My eyes widened and my eyebrows lifted up. He's talking about me. The kids giggled, saying that Roronoa's a pansy. "- quite scary sometimes though.." A stress marked thumped on my forehead.

"Yeah yeah." The old woman nodded to the other people. They had a conversation that I ignore and my ear seemed to draw its' attention to them. "Tsk! I cannot believe that panther still lurks in the shadow." A man shook his head in distress. I looked at them.

"What are we talking about?" I asked. "The man eating panther has returned." The man said. "If it is alright, would you seek for it and kill it?" He asked. I nodded. "I will. I'll try."

Roronoa and I left that afternoon. I reported to the captain for a short time and lied again saying that I had some questions to ask to a bartender in some bar. I lied saying that he spotted Roronoa drinking there one time. The captain seemed to believe me. I knew his patience was wearing thin. For the first time, I was irresponsible about my job. I didn't care about it anymore and I knew it seemed so out of character of me.

I'll think about this enormous dilemma later on. Now I was thinking about what to make for dinner as I stare at these mountain vegetables on the chopping board. Maybe tomorrow I'll write it in my to do list to buy a cook book..

* * *

**L.R.; **Okay. I know that was not mushy though mushiness is suppose to be the main theme. So anyway, next time I shall try!!


	4. A wife wannabe

**L.R.; **Sorry for the delay once again. Our interenet was crap. Happy New year everyone!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

It was the third day that Roronoa and I had been living in the same abode. I didn't woke up early in dawn but woke up at eight. I started cooking for Roronoa and I had never given much thought if he would like my cooking. From the kitchen I looked at him as he lay peacefully on the bed. I smiled and turned to my cooking. After for about a minute, I felt a presence behind me. I stopped, almost dropping the spoon on my hand.

It was Roronoa, as always. The first thing he did was lay his chin on my right shoulder. Then he started caressing his cheek against mine. I could feel his warm breath against my bare neck. I closed my eyes tightly. Is this a dream? He let out a soft moan. He had each his hands on the sides of the stove, making sure he won't burn himself.

"Morning." He whispered.

Slightly, I pushed him back then he moved away from me. I turned to look at him only to see him grinning widely at me. His eyes still drowsy. I forced a smile at him. "Good morning." At this moment I know that a wife would moved forward and pull her husband with her arms around his neck and they would kiss deeply. But that's not how my fairy tale goes. It's far from that. I shook my head and smiled at him playfully. "Are you hungry? I made breakfast for you!"

I moved aside then started pouring the contents of the pan into a large plate. While holding the plate like a waiter on my right hand, I grabbed Roronoa's left hand and guided him to the table. I placed the plate on the middle of the table and ran to the other side and pulled the other chair to let Roronoa sit.

He did sat on the chair and I started scooping the food to his plate then I poured in fruit juice in an empty glass. I sat myself on the other chair and smiled, staring at him. "I made breakfast just for you." I mused. He kept grinning on the food infront of him and started eating. "Wow. Thank you." He said."You know you shouldn't have woke up." I pouted. "I was planning to give you a breakfast in bed." He nodded. "Are you not eating?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I have to leave soon and.. go to work." Once again I felt myself dazing infront of him. I turned my gaze into his cheek. You don't know how much I want to caress that. I wonder how it would feel against my finger. I thought I would die if I not do it. "You have been very kind to me." He glanced at me from his plate. I shrugged. "Is there anything I could do to pay you back?"

I looked away. "Do you think that.. maybe I should start fishing or I don't know .. maybe look for a job?"

I shot a look at him. "No!" I shook my head quickly. "N-no.. just.." I started to relax. "Don't." He looked confused at me. Maybe one day he would ask me why I always act like this. And maybe one day I might tell him the truth. I know that one of these days I have to. "It's alright. I'll work on my own." He frowned. "Really? But isn't that so selfish of me?"

"Selfish?" I whispered. Come to think about it I am the one who's selfish for hiding him here all for myself. I looked down.

Roronoa ran his left hand across the table and hold unto my right hand. I jumped slightly and looked at him. He smiled weakly. "Is everything alright?" He asked. I hate the way he always makes me happy and sometimes, I feel all my worries would pass by. "I am very lucky to have you." I said. "If.. I was with another woman, would I feel this content?" He asked me. I shrugged.

He looked at his food again. "I always wonder about my feelings for you before. You don't have any idea how much I long for my memory back." Then my breath was cut short. Does he really want his memories back? If he does, then that day would be the end of my life. I swallowed hard and looked around. "Ah.." I started. "Uhm.."

"Can we go visit the kids in the village again?" He asked.

Then I thought of those maidens flirting with him. I frowned. Maybe the real reason why he want to go back is to flirt with them as well. I guess he had this idea before since he knew I'm going to work. Hmpf! Men!

"Well, you are going there but I have work." I stood up and went to the bedroom to get Shigure, then I went back to him. I felt a slight anger in me but I plead myself not to because I know there's no point. "Uhm.. should we go after you are finish?" I asked.

Both of us walked out from the house. I stopped when he made his way to the village, into the woods. "Uhm.. Roronoa." I called and he looked back with his eyebrows up. "Yeah?" He asked.

"Ah.. just uhm.." He smiled at me as he looked back. He always smiles. I could find the reason why I found this moment awkward. Possibly because I was going to make myself feel very embarrassed in front of him again. "Make sure you get there right and.. " I forced a frown at him and poked his chest. ".. don't wander around!"

He nodded and frowned. "Yes!" He seemed encouraged and he sounded like a marine soldier just now. I took a deep breath and ran my fingers to my hair. "Alright, go. Make sure you're safe. Don't walk around into dark eerie places, don't trust anyone outside the village.. and maybe some shaddy characters also in the village. There might be booby traps or something like that so yeah.. just.. never wonder around, okay!"

"Okay, I get it." He smiled and I could feel him almost laughing at me. I got even more embarrassed and the usual, stupid. Why do I have to be so weird and obvious? Then his face animated. "You are very worried about me, huh?"

"What?!"

"That's so cute!" He grinned and patted my head. "I am worried about you too when we are afar." He's flirting with me, I can see that. I stepped back and slapped away his hand. I growled. "Hey! Hey! Just because you lost your memory and .. and I'm being very nice to you does not mean that you have the rights to.. ah.. touch me." I stood straight and cleared my throat. "I still uhm.." I started playing with the tips of my hair. ".. my uh.. feelings for you are still the same. I mean we were arrange married and ah.. I don't suppose we ever really loved each other and I-"

"You want to keep it that way?" He asked. His expression was emotionless and he looked to the side and cupped his chin. "It's alright. If that's your decision then I will respect that."

I bit my lip. I didn't mean to hurt him. It's just that.. I still haven't change even from the day I brought him to my house. I intend to hurt him even though I do not want to. I hate the way I always loose words and stutter in front of him. "No I.. " I whispered but it was useless since it was too low.

"Okay. Uhm.. I'll just go now." He said and turned around. "Bye." Then he started walking to the woods. I kept my eyes on his broad shoulders and whished he would look back. I hope I could just wrap my arms around him and tell him I'm sorry and all the feelings I have kept. I wanted to yell 'Take care!' but it might only complicate things.

I finally found the strength to walk away and head to the town then into the Marine building. What if I'll ran into one of the Mugiwaras today? What should I do or suppose to do? Should I arrest them or hand Roronoa back to them so I could end this guilt in me and he's pain of being with me? I can't chose the right answer. All seemed painful for me, because none of them gives me him. Even though I am thinking of this, the image of Roronoa walking to the woods still lingers every time I blink.

My pace started to slow and a merchant hit my shoulder as he ran. He apologised and continued. I had my head down and was thinking deep. From the marine report analysis, Roronoa has no sense of direction. I looked back to where I came from and still had second thoughts. Maybe I should go and check if he's alright. But then again if he see me being all worried and tease me, I might blab out useless words.

Then I remembered the old woman. She said something about a beast. My memory was not so good but I do remember her saying a man eating panther? I was clueless if what she said was true or not but my feet was making its way to the woods. Then I started running. I was afraid for Roronoa. I ran past my house and trudged through the mossy woods. I don't know if a predator could live in this type of state. I kept running.

Until finally, I found my instincts right. I saw the back of the large black panther and in front of him was Roronoa. He seemed alright yet I could see in his face that he was in pain. He had two mossy old tree branches in each hand. The panther moved to side still growling at Roronoa and I was amazed to see its mouth bleeding. Could Roronoa hit it hard? The blood was mixing with saliva and it dripped unto the ground.

Then Roronoa saw me and I think he seemed glad to see me or was worried to se me. "Tash-" "Zoro!!" I yelled.

Just as he called my name, the panther took the opening and jumped to him with its ferocious large claws. I have no idea if I still have the chance of saving him but I had jumped towards the panther as he did to Roronoa. I had my eyes close and Shigure off his sheath. I feel on my knees to the ground not knowing if I won or if Roronoa has been.. killed. I opened my eyes and so found myself kneeling on the panther. My sword pierced though it's skull. Blood filled my nostrils and I stepped back.

My hair was in disarray and was glad that no blood spread unto me. My heart was beating fast. I turn to Roronoa and he tackled me with a hug. I was surprised. He was shaking. He had his arms around my neck and his chin on my right shoulder. He had a cut and a bruise on his elbow maybe the predator attacked him as well.

"Tashigi.." He muffled in my hair. "I'm sorry." He said. It's crazy but when he held me, I felt all my worries disappear. I forgot about the world. I felt very protected in his arms and so safe. Finally, after all those hopes and silly wishes, for the first time, I felt Roronoa Zoro's warmth. How I hoped to all Gods that I could stay in his arms forever. I closed my eyes as I drowned into him.

Slowly, I slid up my arms around him and felt the smooth fabric of his clothes. I didn't hug him as tight as he did to me but I felt his heart beating against my small breasts. "I'm very sorry." He apologised again and I pulled away wishing that I didn't. "Wha- no!" I shook my head and looked at him. "I should be the one apologising and not you." I grabbed each sides of his face. "I left you unprotected. That beast could've.." I paused. My tears were welling up again. My hands dropped to his chest.

"I'm so sorry." Sometimes I hope that we never met each other at all and sometimes I hope I didn't kept him and lied to him. True, being far from your love is painful but it hurts even more if you are with him yet you cannot be trusted with him. I don't know if I even make sense anymore. He pulled away completely and I never thought I'd see him blush. "I'm sorry I should have hugged you." I opened my mouth yet the words fail so I close them. I shook my head. "It's.. alright."

"It's never alright!" He yelled angrily and I thank him for that because I deserve it. "I hate the way I lost my memory! I hate the way I was only a fisherman and a farmer because I cannot protect myself especially you!" If only he knew the truth. I had the urge to tell him everything, the words were at the tip of my tongue waiting to come out. My heart prevents them yet my mind was screaming curses at me.

"Look, I don't know if I didn't love you nor you did to me.. I just." He grabbed my elbows and looked deeply into my eyes. "I really want to protect you, I am your husband." "Zoro.." I muttered. He moved away then smiled weakly. "And I am sorry for not giving you my thanks." I was glad that the atmosphere changed so sudden. I looked into his eyes and was relieved to see them twinkle. "You were very brave! Strong and fast!" He marvelled. "I cannot believe someone posses such skill! You could be the world's best swordsman!" My smile faded. "No, Roronoa, that's your dream."

"Well, I.." I forced a smile. He took Shigure from the panther's head and handed it to me. I took it and sheathed it back. "Your sword really interests me." He said and kept on staring at my sword. He looked at me. "Whose swords were those that lean against the closet?" He asked. I frowned and shrugged. "I ah.. got them from a sword shop."

"Anyway, should we head to the village?" He hold unto my hand. I squeezed it and smiled. "Yeah. We should." I nodded and we started walking. From this day onwards, I promise that I will protect him and keep him away from harm as long as he is still vulnerable. "Stay there with me so I can proudly tell them about you." I shook my head, still smiling. "I cannot. I'm sorry. I have to report- err.. I have to go to work." He nodded and looked at me. "Then maybe next time?" "Next time!" I agreed.

****

I went to the town after I safely brought Roronoa to the village. The town was livelier now since the sun is up high at its peek. It was almost noon and I think I am late once again. I ran to the old marine building where the captain is. I opened the door to his office and was surprised to see captain Hina on his table. Full body and Jango at the sides gawking or I think jealous of captain Smoker since I think the woman captain had been flirting with him.

Captain Hina pushed down her sun glasses and smiled at me and I always thought that that smile had some meaning. I bit my tongue. She nodded. "Nice to meet you again, sergeant." She said. I saluted. "Hina-san." Then I dropped my hand. I looked at Jango and Full body. I'm sorry to say but I do not trust them completely. They are like bullies to me. Full body grimaced at me while Jango ignored me.

I always thought that they were a weird bunch. I mean come on, what's up with Jango's chin and Full body? He's just so into himself. I don't understand why the captain allows them to be her subordinates. To put that aside, I shook my head and darted a look at my captain. He sighed. "You must be thinking why they are here?" He asked. "Hina is here to help." The woman captain responded. "Oh.. well." I stammered. "Was this needed?" I asked the captain.

Captain Smoker shook his head. "Fuck no. They just want to fuck with me." Captain Hina looked down at him. "You're so mean, Smoker-kun. Hina is offended." Smoker shook his head and looked at me once again. "Any news, Sergeant?" He asked. My eyes widened. "Seen any Straw Hats lately?" He repeated. I shook my head and looked down. "No, sir. After I ran into Roronoa that morning I have not seen him at all."

"We still have the advantage, we have their ship and that means the Mugiwaras are still in the island and cannot leave." He finished but Hina continued. "And so is the reason Hina came here since it's been three days and thereare still no news about them." She glared down at Smoker. "This is unlike you, Smoker-kun." Smoker groaned. "Are you still following your justice or have you gone soft? What I mean is, if you really are into looking for them, then how come you still haven't spotted even a single pirate?" "Enough!" The captain's booming voice made me shudder while Jango and Full body squealed slightly.

Hina and Smoker stared at each other then Hina sighed. "Hina will start her search." Then she turned to me. "They will pay after humiliating me. There is nothing free in this world." She made me feel as if she knew what I have been doing. I know that there will be a payment for my sins. Now all of them were staring at me and I looked down.

Captain Smoker cleared his throat. "Anyway, I heard you have been buying men's clothes, Tashigi?" I shot my eyes at him and blushed.

Full body and Jango were grinning at me evilly and captain Hina raised a brow. Feeling very stupid I shook all my embarrassment away and propped myself up. "Ah yes, you heard right, Captain. I have.. used some of them because I found them comfortable but the shirts, I used them for uhm.. clogging my broken faucet." Crap! "They are very useful." Hina rubbed her chin. "Hmm.. never thought of that."

"Uhm, sir, I maybe I should go and search the town." I asked, my patience growing thin. I longed to be beside Roronoa now and how it makes me feel so weak. "Alright, go." Before the Captain finished, he asked me yet again, "Are you with any soldiers?" He asked. I shook my head. "No captain." Then he let me go. Before I completely disappeared from the room, I saw Hina's face full of suspicion.

****

During twilight I fetched Roronoa from the village and he had been filling me up stories about what he and the kids had been doing. I was very happy for him because aside from maybe happy of being with me, he's happy with some people. Then he started talking about the old folks smoking like a stove.

"The scent and taste was horrible!" He complained. I shrugged. "Well, you could've had refused and told them it can cause you lung disease." He scratched his cheek. "Yeah but, they might get offended." I smiled warmly up at his confused face. Then I found the confidence to hug his left arm. "You are too kind," Then I thought why not pretend that all of these was real. ",my husband." I continued.

He grinned and squeezed my cheek. "Mm. Why are you becoming so nice and mushy so suddenly?" He asked. "Well, I uh.." I hope I didn't blush but I did. "I.. missed you." He took the chance of hugging me tightly. "You are very cute!" He squealed like a girl. I pushed him playfully away and looked up. "Stop it! Let's uhm.. continue this at home."

He nodded and said, "Then let's go!" He suddenly hooked me on his right shoulder and sprinted to the house as fast as he can. He kicked open the door then it closed on its own. Roronoa ran to our bedroom then dropped me on the bed. We started laughing like crazy. He was on top of me with his arms on each side. Then little by little, he's laughter declined into a smile. I grinned up at him then caressed his left cheek. I'd give everything just to lay under him like this.

At this perfect moment I wanted to tell him 'I love you.' He liked the feeling of my hand on his cheek as he pressed it with his shoulder. He kissed my palm then I played with his three gold earrings. His eyes were intense and slowly my smile faded. He surprised me by leaning closer to my face. I thought he'd kiss me but he moved down to my neck. He was nibbling on my skin. My breath escaped and I closed my eyes tightly. "Ah.. Z-Zoro.." I moaned and my voice trembled. He started licking my neck and planted kisses.

I bit my lower lip. I did not know if I wanted this or not. "We can't.." Then he pulled away and stared at me. His eyes emotionless. "I wanted to-" Then he looked away and said, "Good night." And kissed my forehead. He rolled to his place and buried his face against his pillow. I was left on my place still in shock. My heart was beating mad and my face was so hot. What did he want? I looked at his back and tears suddenly rolled down from the corner of my eye then to the bed covers.

Why did he-? Did he recall something? I turned around from him and clenched my pillow tightly. I hope I wasn't sobbing loudly. Does he like me? What if he does? Would he abandon his pirate friends for me? Then what if Roronoa has a lover?

I'm sure he had found someone very attractive. Maybe that red haired navigator of them. She was very beautiful and had a nice body. Or maybe even Nico Robin. They both looked good together with him. I'm sure a lot of men would die to have them and is Zoro one of them? I am very different from them. I don't think I am beautiful. I don't have large breasts or a sexy physique. I don't suppose someone had ever found me attractive.

I shut my eyes tightly and let my tears race down to my wet pillow..

* * *

**L.R.; **Yes mushiness as always and maybe more will come. Anyways, everything's going on as planned so yeah. Thanks for reading! I hope ya'll come back!


	5. I promise you

L.R.;

Happy happy new year!! Woo! Anyway, I have a big caution for you people. **Lemon ahead! **So beware okay. And it's my first lemon. I wanted to ask ya'll before but then, there weren't many who reviewed and I forgot to ask. Anyway, I hope you'll like it. I made sure I made it clean as possible. Aye, please read and maybe review meanwhile

* * *

**Chapter 5**

My eyes surprisingly shot up when I heard an eerie crowing of a crow from afar. I frowned and closed my eyes once again and unburied my face from the pillow. I draw my hand on my forehead and opened my eyes slightly. I groaned when the sunlight hit my eyes. _Roronoa_. His name rang in my ears and his face appeard behind my closed eye lids. I frowned looking up to the ceiling. When I got up, Roronoa was not on my bed. I worked my way off the bed and went to the kitchen only to see him surprise when he saw me too.

I forced a crap smile and he stared at me with his eyebrows lifted up slightly. The last night's events played on my mind like a movie. He turned around and ignored me as if I was no one. My smile faded. Maybe he was still embarrassed about what he did or felt very awkward. Then he said in a low voice, "Good Morning." in monotone. "Uhm.. " I sat on the chair and started massaging my forehead, covering my eyes with my massaging hand. "..morning." I answered back. He placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of me. I didn't look up at him and anyway, he had turned to the sink once again. I think he's making his own coffee.

Another awkward silence took place and this made me bite my lower lip and shut my eyes. I urged myself to apologise but the words were stuck on my throat and I found it hard to breath. I clenched my fist on the table and my heart was beating fast. From my hand on my forehead, I took a peak at him hoping that he wasn't looking at me in the process. Roronoa had his hands on each sides of the sink and his head hung. I suppose he's frustrated or confused. Then he rubbed his face with his right hand and I thought I should speak.

"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time.

I dropped my hand on the table and slowly looked at him completely. He took a glance at me from his shoulder then he hung his head and it bounced slightly. Finally, he walked towards me with his coffee and there were dark shadows just under his eyes making me think that maybe he didn't sleep last night. I wish he didn't noticed me cry. He dragged the other chair towards me then sat himself there. "Look," He paused and looked at his steaming coffee. "I'm.. sorry, about what I did last night.. I was," He shook his head. "I wasn't on my right mind.. but I just.." He scratched his chin and looked at me. "I'm sorry."

I smiled and squeezed his hand on the table. "Hey, it's alright." He looked at my hand then to my face. "I mean.. we were," My face twisted. "We are.. married after all so uh.. I guess it was alright." Then he raised an eyebrow and his lips twisted. "You mean you wanted me to.. ah.. you wanted us to do it?" He asked. My eyes shot up and I let go of his hand. "Ye- I mean no! But.. ah.. Yes of course I.. wanted us to do it.. but I wasn't.. ready so.. I ahm.." Damn, I'm stuttering again. Then he grinned at me evilly and caught my hand again. "Nmm, what is it, really?" He bit his lower lip playfully and drew his face closer to mine. "Last night, did you want me?"

Okay, so the atmosphere changed like how the weather changes in the Grand Line. Yeah, it's something like that. I swallowed hard and drew my face away from him. Why does he have to be like this? One time he's all so emotional and now he's like a.. I don't know, a sex maniac! I wanted to slap him but then again, there's no complete reason. I grimaced. What does he want now? A kiss?! "You.." I started. "Are a very complicated man!" I growled and his expression changed. "You.. don't, ever do that! Understand?!" "Huh?" He got confused. "You think it's alright for us to make love but you don't want me making this.. " He shrugged. ".. face?"

I glared. "Well what do you call that 'face, huh? "He shrugged again and let go of my hand. "I don't know, sexy face?"

"And why are you making that 'sexy face' to me?" He looked at me seriously. "Do you want to have children?" What's with the change of topic? We-wait, he was asking me if I would want to have a children. Does that mean _our children_? I blinked and licked my lips. "Why of course." I nodded. "Then that's what I'm trying to do." He answered as if those weren't hard for him. "So what? You want us to make children by looking at me that ways?" "No, I was seducing you." "What?! Are you crazy?!" So that was his plan?! That was obvious what was I thinking? "There you go again! I thought you wanted children?!" We stared at each other until we started laughing.

"We're both crazy!" I laughed. Roronoa kept on laughing and somehow I was glad about it. I was glad that we weren't feeling awkward to eachother and I am so glad that, were are not fighting. If I told him that he was the Roronoa Zoro, would he be so mad? Or would he try to kill me if I tell him that we really are enemy? But then, killing me wouldn't be enough when he knew that he was living a lie. My smile started to fade and so did my laughter. I looked down but kept on smiling.

"Hey!" He suddenly sighed heavily. I looked at him. "Stop making that face! I don't want to see you looking like that at all! It breaks my heart!" He said. "We are making a stupid moment here." Then he pinched my cheek so hard. "You look like crap!" "Aw aw!!" I cried and slapped away his hand. "Will you come with me to the village today?" He pleaded and somehow I could not resist. Here was the man I love begging. I cannot refuse any longer and I would die if I do.

I sighed and kept on smiling. "Sure." I nodded. He cheered in victory.

****

Seriously speaking, I didn't not want to see the two captains and especially those two bullies Jango and Full Body. Neither would I give a crap if captain Smoker would give out to me as to where I am today and why I didn't report to him. All I had in my mind is that I am here together with my 'husband' and nothing else. I was finally doing something for myself and not thinking about how it would reflect to others. It was reckless, I know. I didn't or couldn't understand my actions before when I was hesitating him and almost avoiding him. Here was my life and my love in front of me and only waits for me to make my move. I had just realized that I should do something for myself too.

Maybe even just for this short moment, I could enjoy the feeling of love and being loved. I cannot miss my chance. I must embrace it because I know that at the end of it all, my love and life will disappear before me and I would do nothing but regret. I don't want to regret that I should've had hug Zoro, feel Zoro, kiss Zoro and maybe love him. But maybe I can't really make love with him because then that would be the biggest crime I could commit. If Roronoa was the woman and if I was the man then if I made love to him/her then I should be accused of rape. I mean this is all just a lie after all.

Should I just let everything go on their own or should I take control once again? But then if I take control, I may not be able do what I really want to do. Tsk! I'm just too confusing. My hands were inside my pocket and my fingers had been playing with the two rings that I bought yesterday. I was going to give the other one to Roronoa. The ring's were suppose to be our _wedding rings_ and I bought them just so he won't ask too many questions again and.. I just wanted to have the feeling of us being a married couple. And it hurts sometimes because everything is just a lie.

I shook my head and looked at Roronoa playing with the little kids of the village. I am with the old people in the village now, smoking. Well I wasn't really smoking I mean it's bad for me and for my career so I just sat there watching them and laugh at their every confusing jokes. They just kept on talking to each other and laughing while I always peak at what Zoro and the children were doing.

"Aha!" The old woman laughed and after she inhaled deeply into the long bamboo tube, she looked at me then, maybe she noticed that I had been staring at Zoro, she asked. "How long have you been married?" "Oh, huh?" I quickly looked at her and shook my head from dazing. "Uhm.. four years ago.. or five." "Ah, and have you had children?" I smiled and blushed. "N.. no not yet. We haven't planned." "Oh well that's a pity 'cuz you both looked good together, right?" The other old woman said and the other agreed. "Why thank you!" I grinned and then I couldn't fight myself from feeling the butterflies in my stomach.

A woman, about in her thirties, slapped my bended legs and whispered, "So, how does he look like?" "Eh?" I couldn't understand what she meant. "You know? How does he look like, in the _inside_?" I swallowed real hard and my heart was beating loudly and it seemed they could here it. Everyone was quiet now, waiting for my answer. "Why I beg your pardon?" I asked once again. "Oh come on! I'm sure you too have explored eachother!" "How does he look like? Does he have large muscles? Is his skin tanned and does it shimmer when he's soaking wet?" "And how about his.. down-there?!" Then they all started giggling. Our population grew. Some village maidens started sitting with us.

"Is he big?!" "Huh?!" "Is he hairy?!" "What?!" "How was the first time you both did it?!" "Ack!" "Did it felt good or the opposite?!" "Haa?!" My head was swirling and all I could see were the women around me with eager looks in their faces. How perverted this villagers were! Doesn't they know that the word _privacy_ existed?! Curse the day that I negotiated with them! I thought I was going to faint any minute. But then a small hand hold unto my shoulder.

I looked back to see a small boy smiling at me. "Come play!" Then he suddenly and shockingly pulled me away from the crowd of women. They all yelled at me saying that they are still waiting for my response. I was glad he saved me. And most of all, I was glad that I didn't have to answer those perverted questions. The boy brought me to the waterfall and into the river. Then he left me and ran to the river and took off his shirt.

Zoro was playing with them. He had his shorts rolled up to his thigh and my heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, I could not keep my eyes off from his tanned _musclicious _thigh. _"How does he look like in the inside." _The question of the old woman rang in my ear. _"Is his skin tanned and does it shimmer when he's soaking wet?"_ I couldn't stop those thoughts in me. Then I imagined Roronoa with only his boxers on taking a bath on the river. _"Is he 'big'?"_

It was so real! I could imagine him. So he's standing under the waterfall and the sunlight beaming down on him. I could imagine his tanned skin shimmering as the water flow non-stop down to him. Then he looked at me with those intense eyes that almost says, 'I'm gonna make you mine.' Then he grinned and suddenly walked towards me. I can't move, that's how it would happen, right? Then he started running towards me in slow motion.

I shook my head and grabbed the largest boulder I could find and held it up to my head. "I can't take it anymore!!" I yelled, then Roronoa, not the Roronoa in my perverted imagination, grabbed the rock from me and held me up. "What's gotten into you!?" He asked. I looked at him, dumbly. "Waaah!!" Then a girl cried. "Aniki! Aniki!" Another boy tugged on his shirt and looked up at us. "Miki is stuck on the tree! Come help!" He cried.

Zoro let go of me then ran to the nearby tree. There we found a small purple haired, yet dark complexioned girl on a branch, crying. "Help me, aniki!" She cried. "Wait there! I'll get you down!" Then Zoro climbed up to the tree without any effort. His right hand slipped slightly and a bark fell on the ground. He gnashed his teeth, maybe from pain, then grabbed Miki and jumped down. Roronoa placed her on the ground and started wiping off her tears. "Sh! Calm down. You're alright now, okay." He said.

I blushed and smiled. He's very kind with the kids. "Thank you!" Then Miki kissed him on the cheek. She started playing with the kids in the river. Roronoa stood up and grinned as he watched the children play. "That was very.. sweet." I said. He looked at me and frowned. "What's wrong with you back there?" He asked and my cheeks got even hotter. I looked to the side and twirled my hair. "Nothing." I murmured. I still couldn't take his _hot image_ of my mind- wait! I looked at his right palm and it was bleeding.

I grabbed it and frowned. He was bleeding. An ugly dirty cut was on his hand. "Tsk! Look what you did!" I scolded. I brought him to the river and dipped his bleeding hand in. He shuddered and pulled his hand but I pulled it back angrily. "Ah!" He cried. I cleaned his cut the ripped a part of my shirt and started wrapping his hand with it. "There." I slowly dropped his hand. "How many times have I told you to keep yourself from harm?" I scolded. "You've hurt yourself two times now!"

I looked up at him and he was staring down at me blankly. I shrugged. "What?" I asked. "Aren't you going to kiss the pain away?" He asked and his lips parted to form an evil smile. Angrily, or even out of pure embarrassment, I slapped his chest and he stepped back. I started walking off but then he grabbed my wrist and when I face him, he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to him. He kissed my forehead and pulled back. "Thank you and I am not sorry that I kissed you." He looked down at me and a smug smile formed in his lips. "'Cuz I know you liked it." Then he laughed.

*****

I found myself sitting on the couch of my, or our, living room. I was thinking about what to cook for dinner and what the marines had been doing. How did the two captains reacted when I didn't report for duty? Could my captain be pissed off? Have the Mugiwaras been caught? I drew my hand to my lower lip and pinched it slightly. I thought that maybe a hot bath would ease this head ache.

So I walked towards the bathroom and since the door was open, I just went in. As I did, another shocking thing happened, Roronoa had his back on me. I suppose he had finished taking a shower because he was dripping wet and steaming. Also, his naked butt was facing me. He looked back at me covering his 'lower' part with a small white towel. He just looked at me.

Quickly, I turned around and apologised. I wanted to leave but as always he grabbed my hand and stopped me. My heart was pounding this time because he was naked! I shut my eyes and thought, 'damn'. I blushed. He drew me close to him and as I looked back to him, he threw the towel away. He then closed the door and pinned me to it. His hands on my sides. I just looked at his muscular chest, I didn't want him seeing me blush. The steam in the room seemed to thicken since my eyes was blurring, or maybe because I haven't used my glasses since yesterday.

His nose hit my forehead and I could feel his breathing. A drop of water from his short hair dropped to my nose. Then Roronoa nuzzled on my forehead. "You.. said you want to conceive a child, yeah?" He asked. I placed my left hand on his chest. "Zoro.. I.." I stammered. "I found you very attractive, my love. Do you think the same to me?"

He suddenly leaned forwards to my lips and I close my eyes. I didn't stop him or anything. I reflected on what I said awhile ago. Maybe I do want him to take my first kiss. "Just enjoy this."I move my head up slightly waiting for his mouth against mine. I felt his warm breath on my face and my fringe moved. Then he planted a kiss on my... cheek. I opened my eyes on that moment.

"Sorry." I looked at him and he was smiling weakly. "We shouldn't rush." He continued. He took off his hands from the wall and left me there. He took his towel and started drying his short hair. I frowned at him. Then I found myself angry. The hell did he left me on that awkward position? He made me feel so stupid! Dammit, I wanted him to kiss me! I grabbed his right shoulder and made him look at me. He did and I grabbed the sides of his face and said, "You missed, Zoro." Then I pushed my mouth hungrily to his. Feeling its warmth and moist.

I wasn't thinking anymore. My mind was full of emotions that I couldn't understand. Suddenly I just wanted him so much and I thought I'd kill myself if tonight I won't have my own way. I pulled him closer as I wrapped my hands around his neck. My breasts were squished between us. Then Roronoa relaxed against me. He pushed me back to the door and his right hand wrapped around my waist while the left on the wall beside me. Hungrily, his tongue slid between my lips and into my mouth, exploring. I blinked furiously. He started tasting my tongue, stroking and delving.

I shut my eyes tightly and placed one hand on his shoulder and pushed him back slightly. He groaned and hesitated and tightened his grip at me, drawing me even closer and I couldn't breath. I didn't know how to react. "Mhhmm~!" I moaned.

Finally he moved his lips down to my jaw then to my neck. He started kissing and sucking through my skin. "Nhn! Roronoa.. Zoro." I whispered. "Let's continue what we did last night." I could feel him grin under my face. Then he suddenly lifted my thighs and wrapped them around his waist. I thought this was it but I still had my shorts. He opened the bathroom door as he still licked and kissed my neck.

He brought me to our bedroom and dropped me on the bed just like yesterday but this time, we were kissing and this was the real deal. I tightened my legs around his waist, drawing his waist closer until I heard him grunt. I could feel his hard erection against me.

"Ow." He cried. I looked at him and while he was talking, his lips were moving against mine, "You.. always get what you want, huh?" He smiled. "No.. not always.." I mummbled and kiss him passionately once again. He pushed my head deeper into the mattress, not wanting to breath anymore, I guess.

Then he moved his lips to my neck and I pushed my head back for him to have a better taste. Then I opened my eyes and I hated myself for thinking that this was wrong. I balanced myself on my elbows and pushed him back. "No, Zoro, we can't do this!" I cried. "Ssh! No we should." He ignored me and kept on kissing and licking. "N-no you-you don't understand. We're not-" Then he covered my mouth with his free hand and said, "I perfectly understand." His right hand snaked its way under my shirt then up to my breasts. He started touching and squeezing lightly.

"Ah!" I cried. Angrily, he sat up and frowned at me. "It's 'cuz you're wearing too much clothes!" He growled and ripped off my shirt. He then unbuttoned my shorts and flung them to the ground. Then he dived into my chest once again, licking the valleys of my breast. He lifted his head slightly and took off my bra. I gasped and blushed brightly. He stared at my small breasts and I covered them with my left hand. I bit my lower lip. "No, Zoro. Don't-" "Don't hide from me, Tashigi." He took off my hand and started licking my left breast. "You look beautiful." Then he started sucking on the tip of my breast. I let out soft and quiet moans.

His other hand squeezing and covering my other breast. He kissed me once again and as he did so, I felt my nipples stiffen at the feeling of a man's chest against them. I was loosing my mind. Tonight, I won't only loose my first kiss to him but also my virginity. I enjoyed myself in his arms. I gave him what I want, or did he really like this? Maybe I do. Throughout the love making session, I had been thinking that I was raping Roronoa and not him to me. I was the lustful one. I am the one who is taking advantage of him.

I wanted to cry so badly but then again I wouldn't let this perfect moment slip by. I wanted to end what we've started. Roronoa Zoro, the feared pirate and my enemy was making love to me. This was unbelievable. I never thought I'd live this day. Never did I thought that Roronoa would be the one who'll have my first kiss and take my virginity away. If the marines would know, they'll kill me together with him. This is the biggest crime I have committed yet. But I think it is better if I die together with my love.

I wonder, is this his first time too? Is he enjoying this as much as I? Finally, I knew the answers for the questions of the old perverted women in the village. Yes, Roronoa had a tan shimmering skin. Yes, he was thick but not hairy. When he entered me, it was so tight and wet. I couldn't believe how thick his manhood was. When he entered me, I thought I couldn't breath and maybe faint. I had been crying moans and he too was screaming but I know he was preventing himself from it.

After that, he collapsed on the bed beside me and draw me on top of him. We were both sweating, well I was but I don't know if he was still wet from the shower. He looked at me, the moon light shinning down on us. He wiped my teary eyes. "Zoro.." I whispered. He kissed me once again and by that time did I realize that he was kissing me. I put my arms around his neck and just tasted him. He was still hard. I could feel his erection on my stomach. His heavy arms were around me, on my back.

"Hnn.. Tashigi." He sighed and smiled up at me. He hooked a lock behind my ear. "That was really.. good." He bit his lower lip, grinning. He pressed a thumb on my lips and I kissed and licked it. "I hope we did this everyday." "Yeah." I agreed. We stared at each other until his hand squeezed my butt. "Ow!" I cried. "Sorry, I just wanted to do that so badly." He hugged me closer to him. "You're so mean!" I pouted. "Why thank you, 'cuz if it wasn't for that this would probably never work."

"Oh! I have something for you." I moved away from him but he tightened his grip on me and started nuzzling on my neck once again. "No, stay here. Forget that." He said. I pushed him back and sat on his stomach. I found it very awkward. I was still so wet down there and as I sat on him. His grin never cease to stop. Then I noticed what he was grinning at. He was staring at my small breasts. I covered them and he grabbed them away. "Stop that I said you look beautiful and sexy." "You're such a pervert, Zoro." "And proud."

I looked away. "My breasts are small compared to other woman." Then I thought about his two companions on their ship and captain Hina. I guess if I were to rate against them I'd be the weakest link. Roronoa dropped his hands on my legs. "It's not the size I liked. It's the shape." My eyes widened. "Anyway, what did you want to show me?" He asked. "Oh yeah." And I hate the way I had to get out of the bed. I grabbed my shorts and took the two rings from the pocket. I sat on him once again. I took his left hand and inserted one ring on his ring finger. "Here." I said and wore mine too.

I lay my head on his chest and he looked up at the ring on his hand. "Is this our wedding ring?" He asked. "Uh-hum." I nodded. "I just want to give it to you so you can wear it everywhere and.." I raise my head slightly to him. ".. keep you from asking and doubting if we really are married. Also so those women will know that you're all mine." I started kissing his jaw and nuzzling his neck. He looked down at me. "I would never doubt." He pinched my nose. "And even if we're not married, I would marry you." He kissed my forehead. Then that stabbing pain in my heart happened again when the words that I never thought I'd hear from him came out. _"I love you."_

My tears dripped down to his chest and I wiped them away. If only he knew the truth. If I tell him now, would he accept me? Would he still love me? Roronoa only loved me because of a lie. I opened my mouth and my lips quivered. I lifted my head and looked at him under the dim moon light. "I love you too, so much!" I cried and kissed him deeply. He pulled away frowning. "What's wrong?" He asked and wiped away my tears. I smiled and kissed his hand. I shut my eyes tightly and tears streamed down from eyes. "No, Zoro, I'm just so happy." "Then stop crying. It's… I don't like it, okay?" He smiled weakly and I nodded.

"Look, I promise." He started and I looked at him wide eyed_. _"I promise I will love you forever and I will never leave you. I will go wherever you go no matter what happens."My breath escaped from my mouth and he made me cry even more. "No, don't." I whimpered. "Don't ever promise me anything. Anything at all, alright?" I hold unto his face. He squinted at me. "Why? What's wrong? I mean, I'm not gonna go or anything, right?" He asked. "I mean, I didn't.. or I never had a lover before you, right?"

I kept quiet. He sat up hugging me. "Tell me, Tashigi. You are starting to scare me." He asked and made me look at him. I shook my head. "No, no never mind me! I'm just.. I have all these crazy ideas in my head." He gave me a very concerned look. "Well, just.. stop it okay." Then he smiled and lay us down once again. "Let's forget about the world tonight and think about only us, okay?" He kissed me once again and I didn't want him to stop. "Make love to me until I am sore." I said

And that night the world faded without us knowing..

* * *

**L.R.; **Finally I finished it. It was hard writing those. I felt very perverted and crap. Anywayz, I had been looking for any ZoTa fanfics and I found a few but found lots of ZoRo or ZoNa which was kinda sad. Oh well. Next time will be a little sad. I guarantee you that this story will be sad. Boosh and a happy new year!


	6. The end is near

**L.R.; **Hello hello again! Thanks for the reviews people! I never thought I'd get as much. Anyway, and about the lemon last chapter.. ah.. never mind. So read please and I kinda need some review to know how I'm doing.. thanks!! God bless!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

So, Roronoa didn't really made love to me until I was sore. He said he respected everything about me. Some people may find that gay or maybe even call him a 'pussy' but I think that was very sweet and sensitive. Nowadays, you won't find a man who talks and acts like that anymore in this world. Most men would love to 'hump' you as long as they're satisfied. I decided that I should at least pay a short visit to the captain after my actions yesterday. But before I left the house, I woke Roronoa for a short time and told him that I'll be back from work before twelve. When he lazily opened his eyes, he suddenly grabbed my back and pulled me back to bed beside him. He locked me between his large arms and placed his chin on my head.

"Don't go. Stay for awhile." He mummbled. "We only spent a whole day together once. You're always gone for hours." He had his eyes shut close when he said those. "Let's just stay here on the bed. All day long." Then he chuckled and nuzzled my hair. I struggled my way from him and kneeled on the bed. I looked down at him. "Are you mad?!" I growled. "If I don't work then how are we suppose to have money to buy foods and things?" He looked at me then closed his eyes again.

"Baby, calm down." He smiled and clenched my hand in his. "Your workplace won't run away. We will stay and live here.." He grinned at me. "Forever." I pursed my lips and pulled back my head. I blinked dumbfounded at him. I clenched his hand tighter and a breath escaped my mouth. He opened his eyes once again and turned his grin into a simple smile. "I love you, babe." Then he slept back.

I hate the way he always say those words. He doesn't even know the real truth behind them. And I most importantly hate the way I had to fought back tears from falling down. "We'll never know, Roronoa. You don't know who I am and who you really are. _You will have your memory back and both of us will leave the island separately."_ I kissed his square shaped forehead and left. I wanted to savour our moment together since after last night. I hate the time. It always ticks and consumes my time being away from Roronoa. I wanted to stay with him every millisecond of this opportunity as much as he does to me.

So this is the feeling of being deeply in love for the very first time, huh? It feels really good like you're in heaven but you can never stop being afraid. You're always, afraid that one day this beautiful fairy tale might be gone forever. I am so afraid of loosing him. I had said this once and I suppose I should say this again. Roronoa will have his memories back and his memories with me will fade into nothingness. He will forget about how and why he had loved me and everything between us. Then this short bliss will disappear together with him and my crappy dull life will start all over again.

The Gods gave me this opportunity and yet I cannot perfect it. How can I? Roronoa and I were born into two different worlds. I will be the same boring loveless woman without him_._ Maybe when Roronoa will leave me no man will ever love me as much as he did. If I had not lied to him about us being married, would he love me? Or run away from me? But now, all I can do is hope and pray that may the holy ones prolong my time with Roronoa.

They said that if you love someone you should set them free. But I am different. I am selfishly desperate. Some women can have any man they want with just a snap of their finger. There are very lucky. I don't get everything that I want. If I want something, I have to earn it and work for it. If it ever happens, it must be my lucky day. Maybe even having Roronoa was just my luck.

Enough with the drama, the Marine base's here now. I need to concentrate and maybe think of a better excuse/lie for the captain. I went in the base and some Marine saluted at me. I went straight into the captain's office but he was not there. I walked out just to meet another Marine soldier passing by.

"Where's captain Smoker?" I asked.

"He's around the town, Sergeant." The soldier said. I walked out once again and started my search. I never realized that the town was large and beautiful. It looked almost like a city. In the middle of the town, the Great Plaza, was a luxurious large fountain. I looked around the big crowd but I spotted units of young couples, children running around and merchants screaming. The town was perfect, it would've been even perfect if I was here together with my secret lover.

Roronoa would be very happy and start to be all so pansy and out of character. I looked at a merchant selling heart shaped balloons with different colours. A young man came and bought three balloons. One pink and the others red. He then walked to this girl and gave it to her. That was very romantic and sweet. Then I found myself disgustingly dazing and picturing Roronoa giving m-

"Tashigi?" My day dream was interrupted when a familiar voice spoke beside me. I looked to my right and almost jumped to see captain Hina with a cigarette sticking out from between her lips, she was also wearing her fashionable sun glasses.

"Ah, Hina-san!" I bowed slightly. "How are.. things?" I asked. The beautiful woman captain looked at me from head to toe, as if noticing something new about me. "Good." She folded her arms and looked around. "Why were you walking funny, Sergeant?"

I blushed crimson. Good lord! Was I walking funny? And how does she mean by that? Could the reason be because of last night? I was sore... a little. Shit! This is so embarrassing! What do I say?! I lost my virginity last night with the enemy? No way!

"Ah.." I stammered and looked to the side. Lucky for me those two bullies Jango and Full Body are not around. "I fell, captain." "Hmm.." She nodded and looked at me from head to toe again. "Figures. Hina wonders," Then she moved to me and as she did, her pink hair fell from her shoulder to her chest. I backed away. "Has Tashigi ever been in love?" I blushed and blinked furiously. "Eh?" What's up with that?

Then she leaned back and I relaxed. "Hina is just asking. Tashigi have been acting… different, lately. Or could you have changed?" Then I thought, am I busted? "Are you still searching for that pirate Roronoa Zoro, yes?" She started walking and I walked beside her. "Yes, captain." I answered. "Then you watch your back, alright."

I nodded and had the feeling that I should not pursue her any longer. Hina walked away together with her marine soldiers. What did she meant by her last statement? Could she have figured my secret? Now that's going to be stuck on my head all day. Paranoia is creeping through me like a disease.

Then again I have to search for the other captain, my captain. I kept walking around, cutting my way through the crowd. All I have to do is search for him, lie a bit and maybe run back to Roronoa if Smoker won't make me do.. things. Then finally I saw him. He was standing in front a small yet prosperous meat shop. Then in front of him was a butcher. I jogged to the captain's side. He looked at me and I saluted while saying,

"Captain Smoker, sir!"

He looked down at me, cocking his left eyebrow up. "Oh, it's you." He said as if I was someone he just met. He pointed at the butcher. "I was just talking to this man here." He nodded to the butcher and started walking. I followed him. "Mugiwara visited his shop and well.. almost took all the meat. That's not important. He said something about Mugiwara fighting his other ship mate, that black leg?" I nodded. "Yeah, I suppose they were fighting about leaving and not leaving the island." "So basically, they are still here." Smoker shrugged and frowned at me. "We have their ship, of course they can't leave." I blushed and looked away. How stupid. "Oh.. yeah! I forgot. Sorry."

I suppose they won't leave without Zoro. "Where were you yesterday? I don't remember you reporting for duty." The captain turned his attention to me once again. I glanced at him and he was looking at me with still his left eyebrow pointed up. "Did you fell once again?" He asked. "The way you walk is very.." He grimaced. ".. odd. You walk like a duck." I blushed once again. Why do they have to be so observant? He shook his head and looked around. "As usual, I split the Marines into groups. You still work on your own? Or are you coming with me?" I had to think of an excuse. "Well I left my other sword in a sword shop.."

He sighed and nodded. "Go ahead."

****

Just as I went back to my house, I noticed someone going into the woods from my peripheral vision. I looked straight at it and found out that it was Zoro making his way towards the village. I grinned and jogged quietly towards him making sure not to fall or slide. I wanted to surprise him.

As I went closer and closer to him, I spotted Wadou Ichimonji hanging from his left waist. I stopped and my lips parted and my heart pumped double time. What's the meaning of this? Did he gained his memories back? He seemed to have noticed me when he stopped and looked back at me. At first I thought he'd glare, scream or run away from me just like he always did before. But then he smiled and went towards me.

"Tashigi." He exclaimed happily and hugged me.

_He's still mine. _I started to calm down and hugged him fully, enjoying the short moment. He pulled away after kissing my temple. I frowned at him, unsure of what to say. I looked down at his sword and pinched my chin. "Why.. are you.." I stopped and pointed at his sword. "What's up with that?" I asked.

He looked down at the white sword and hold unto the hilt. "Oh this. I just brought it in case of.. emergency even though I don't know how to use it." He grinned and chuckled quietly. "You don't.. mind, do you?" He asked and pursed his lips into a tight smile. I shook my head. "No. Not at all." He shouldn't have asked. It's not mine at all.

We made our way to the village hand in hand and surprisingly, my lover was quiet. I looked at him and his facial expression looked bothered so I looked away once again and shifted my hand up to his right elbow. "Something you want to talk to me about?" I questioned. He took a short glance at me then looked down. He ignored me. Should I let go of him and get offended? It took about maybe five minutes until he finally confessed.

"I had..." He paused and frowned. I stared at him and he kept tightening his lips together as if tasting something bad. ".. a nightmare last night again." I stopped and made him face me completely. "What was it?" He kept looking to the side with his brows slightly furrowed. "About a large ship. I don't remember much but there were people with me that I did not recognize. I remembered.. someone.. with a brown hat."

And so my hand that was on his elbow dropped and my eyebrows went up on their own. I froze. He shook his head again. "Then everything was just like a haze. I saw blood. I was bleeding all over uhm.. then there were men with different amazing abilities." I swallowed nothing. My mouth was beginning to dry. "I was standing with swords in each hand, I was bleeding like mad. Those people that I did not recognize kept calling my name. I thought I was going to die soon.. " Then he looked at me and he suddenly smiled.

Zoro placed his heavy hands on my shoulder. "Until I saw you.. there. But you looked younger and without your glasses. Somehow you looked a little bit different." That I did not get. I understood and knew most about his dream but about me being young? I have no idea. "Then that was it." Roronoa finished.

****

I knew right then that Roronoa was gaining back his memories and I too was gaining my nervousness and I can't stop from worrying. Could it be that he had this nightmares after he lost his memories? But then how and why did they appeared to early. Maybe tomorrow he'll have his memories back.. I don't want that. I feel like vomiting but I can't vomit now, the children of the village are here meeting both of us.

We started picking up odd looking fruits from those high tropical trees. It's crazy and funny the way there are moss and pine woods in this island. This is probably one of those weird islands in the New World. We were having fun, especially Zoro. He heaved up two kids from each of his arms. They held unto his large biceps and turned them around. They kept on laughing. I feel like I had a family.

After we picked up fruits, we went to the crop fields. It was wide and filled with different kinds of mountain vegetables. Many were odd looking like this one I found. It was a squash yet the children and farmers said it was potato inside. This type of natural foods always interests me. We filled the second large wooden basket they call '_bukag'_ with the vegetables we picked. I was picking more ripe vegetables and dropping the gently into the large basket when Roronoa squatted beside me. "Hey, I got something for you." He whispered and I looked at him. Between his finger and thumb was standing a medium sized vegetable flower. I gasped and covered my mouth. "It's not that pretty but I think it's really useful. It comes from a vegetable and I guess beauty doesn't really matter as long as it's essential." The flower was bright yellow but at the bottom, it turned orange to red. I looked at Zoro. "You keep telling me you're not beautiful. This flower reflects you and I hope you'll learn from it." It was the first ever flower he gave me.

I felt like crying but instead, I shook my head and called him an idiot and wrapped my arms around him. He chuckled, kissed my ear and hugged me back. After that, we zoomed back to reality and delivered the basket to the village. I looked at the villagers and they all seemed so happy and contented. I think they're the most contented people in the world. They don't need anything at all anymore. "Wow! Zoro-onisama is so strong!" One girl, who only had a tooth, marvelled. Roronoa had the two filled baskets in each arms. He grinned down at them as they praised him. "Let's go!" Then we started walking back towards the village.

I noticed sweat running down from his temple and forehead. I took out my white handkerchief and wiped it across his damp face. He grinned and chuckled at me. I dropped my hand and blushed. "When I grow up I wanna be as strong and handsome as Zoro-onisama!" Another kid said and frowned.

When we made our way to the village, we passed a stream and in the banks sat those young maidens washing their long black hair. They spotted us and waved and cried Roronoa's name. Others whispered to each other then giggled. Zoro laughed and forced a smile at them to hide his shyness. He may have found that sweet and encouraging but I found them very annoying.

We finally made it back to the village and Roronoa dropped the two baskets to the ground in front of this large storage hut. Five men came and helped each other carry the basket. I guess Roronoa was really strong. It took two men to drag each baskets. "We thank you for your time!" One man put his hands together and bowed to us. "We gladly appreciate your help! Will you stay for our night feast?" He asked.

Roronoa looked at me then to the man. He nodded. "Sure." "Oya! Oya!"

Then someone yelled from the middle of the village. We turned our attention to a large fat man. He was ugly and lacked hygiene, he had a large rocket launcher on his back. Behind him were units of men with different weapons like guns and cutlasses. They laughed as if they had the laughing sickness.

The ugly man grinned down and rubbed his chin at the old lady, in front of him. Behind the old lady was a young pretty girl. I think this is the time where I come in. I stepped forward and pulled an inch of Shigure from his sheath. "Tashigi, stay." Zoro called but I ignored.

"What do you want from us?!" The old lady cried. The man turned his gaze to the young girl and his grin widened. "Let's see, we're gonna need food.. and maybe some of your women." He cocked his head to his men behind him. "Go get them." Then the men laughed and started raiding the village, burning and harassing the people.

The large man grabbed the girl and licked his lips disgustingly. "This one's mine. Don't worry, sweet heart, I'll give you everything and make you feel good." The girl cried and pushed away the face of the ugly mug. The villagers started crying and fighting back.

I couldn't take much anymore. I started walking towards the enemies. "Tashigi, stay with us!" Roronoa yelled behind me. I looked back at him and noticed the frightened faces of the children hiding behind his legs. "No stay here!" I ran away from them then into the crowd of pirates.

I cut through them literally, cutting off their heads and every part of them that's open for me to slice. There were too many of them against me. I know I should've been maybe a little bit scared but I was not and somehow I found fighting.. entertaining and fun. Good God what's up with me. I haven't fought like this for a long time. Blood started spilling into the air.

The enemies encircled me and each time one goes at me, I slice at them. No one could get to me. Maybe I have gotten stronger or they could be just a bunch of weaklings. Their numbers were declining and I was winning. Soon, they stopped raiding the village and turned all their attention at killing me. Some hesitated to fight and I was embarrassed when the villagers started cheering at me. Their captain gave me a very pissed off face and men! I love that look!

"It can't be helped!" One pirate scooted away. "She's too fast!" No, you're just so unhealthy. Then he and the other survivors ran away to the town. Their ugly captain growled at them. "Cowards! Come back here!" He yelled then looked at me. He pushed the girl away and she ran. "Idiots! It's just one bitch!" How dare he find himself superior than me?! I clenched Shigure with each hand and ran to him.

He took out a white ball from his pocket and threw it to me. I dodged and sliced it in half. Just as I did, a yellowish smoke came out from the ball. It covered me and when I inhaled it, my lungs started to harden. I could not breath and my eyes was filled with tears. I dropped on my knees coughing and my hand on my mouth and nose. My eyesight became very blurry.

"Gehaha! Stupid bitch!" The captain laughed. He pointed his rocket launcher at my face then said. "You fell into my trap! Bye bye, bitch!"

My eyes widened and I tried to stand up until- _"Shishi Sonson!" _I heard Roronoa yelled and he suddenly appeared in front of me then he sheathed Wadou. He was so fast that I didn't saw him move. I was amazed and I frozed, clenching my weakening hand around Shigure's hilt. The ugly fat man yelled then dropped on his back. Blood oozing from his body.

Slowly, the smoke disappeared and I could see again. I stepped out from the fading smoke and breathed in fresh air. I wheezed and then coughed. I wiped off my tears and looked at Roronoa who was looking at his white sword with unbelievable eyes. He then dropped it to the ground. The villagers cheered I ran to Zoro. I placed my hand on his shoulder as I staggered.

"Zoro.." I whispered. He looked at me. "Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded and looked around. I left a bloody mess and I need to help the village clean and throw away the dead bodies. Even though the village was in this state, the villagers were glad to be saved but I didn't felt the way they did. I clenched Zoro's elbows and squinted my eyes at him.

Roronoa had been taking care of me day after day. We would kiss, hug and everything. We only made love two times though. My love for him grew deeper and deeper and I knew I was at stake. He had grown closer to me as well and each morning we wake up he would hug me and tell me his plans with me for the day. But then all his plans don't really come to fruition because I always have to be away for hours. I feel sorry for him.

I wanted him to get mad at me but all he does is understand me. I don't get him at all. He said he's really happy about the way things are and I too told him about what I felt. One day when I was training in the woods, he came with me and watched me train. He told me he was fascinated by my swords, which were his, and also told me that something about them makes him happy.

The seventh day came and he asked me if I could teach him sword fighting. I was enraged and I gave out to him. He was confused. I wanted him to fight back but instead he apologized. I felt so bad. After that I hugged him and told him I was sorry. I didn't want to teach him sword fighting because he might have his memories back. That incident in the village had already made me cautious.

"I like those ships." He told me. He looked at me and smiled. "I want to go into different islands. Maybe we could buy a ship and go around the world." He looked away. "Just think about the adventure." I started at him and always could not help worrying. I frowned at him angrily and slammed my fist to the table. "No! We're staying in this place! We are not going anywhere!" I rasped.

He looked at me with large eyes. Then he glared at me angrily, that look that he gave me back in Logue town. "What is wrong with you?!" He yelled. "Why are you always so mad at me?! Have I done something wrong to make you like this?!" Then I shuddered when he punched the wall so hard that it left a fist mark. "Z-Zoro.." I stammered.

He dropped his hands and clenched them to the side. He kept glaring at me then he walked out from the house angrily and slammed the door shut. I dropped on my knees and wept.

****

That night, Zoro still haven't gone home and I was becoming very worried. What if he went to the town and was captured by the marines? I can't just stay here and worry. I need to go look for him! I made my way to the town and the nightlife was beautiful but I'm not here for sight seeing. I went into sword shops and restaurants but I could not find him anywhere. I found myself standing in front of the big fountain. The lights of the town shinning down at me. I sat on a bench but was still looking around. Roronoa was not in sight. I scratched my head and looked to the right side and at last, I found him. I bolted up and ran towards him but when I did, I looked around for marines.

He was hiding behind a small booth that was selling fishes. I grabbed his elbow and he jumped slightly, maybe I surprised him. "Zoro.." I said then he hugged me tightly. I could not help my tears from falling and soon I let them drip down. I hugged him back. "Baby, I'm so sorry!" I cried. "Ssh! It was all my fault! I screamed at you." He said and leaned his forehead against mine.

I grabbed his hands and forced a smile. "I was so afraid. I thought I lost you!" He wiped off my tears. "The town's very beautiful, huh?" He said. I nodded. "But we can't-" "Yes, I understand. We have to go home before those men in white see me."

****

Roronoa and I lay on the bed, my head on his chest and his arms around me, embracing me with one hand. I nuzzled his chest and held him closer. "Tell me more about you." He said. "Hm?" I looked at his chin. "I don't really know how to start-" I can't tell him about me being a marine so I need to think of something else. "Well," I balanced myself on my elbows and looked at him. "My life, is not the same as any others."

He lifted his eye brows. "Oh?" I nodded. "I was always bored and sad and everything until I met you." I pinched his nose. "For the first time I met you, I liked you." I thought of the day when he gave me my glasses when I fell. "I thought you were really cute and handsome and I thought you hated me." I paused and licked my lips. "Because... well, every time you see me, you would run away." "Really? Why so? When was this?" "This happened when our families lived in this large house for sometime. So yeah, I thought you hated me and thought I was ugly so that's reason why you would run."

He frowned and looked up to the ceiling. "Did I.. made you feel you were loved before I had this memory loss?" He asked and I looked away. I shrugged. "I don't know... not really.." I sadly said. He looked at me. "I'm so sor-" "It's alright!" I cut him and laughed. "Baby, it's alright! Let's think about now, okay?" Then I dropped my head on his chest.

I don't want that day to come anymore at all. I want to live with Zoro forever. Maybe I should run away with him but then... he'll have his memories sooner or later. I have this crazy feeling that that hateful day will come. Roronoa will disappear and so will my happiness. He kissed my forehead. "I will never leave you." I was surprised when he said that, could he read my mind?

And I hope he would keep his word even if he will have his memories back. But then my life is like this and will always will be. When I'm happy, it doesn't last long and that's just really sad. I held unto him closer._ "Please stay, this is what I need, please"._

I buried my face in his chest and he caressed my hair..

* * *

**L.R.; **My reason for loving Tashigi is this; she is very different from any other girl. :D


	7. Broken Vow

**L.R.; **And so this is the last chapter of my too over dramatic story. This chapter is going to be the longest so uhm.. yeah. *sigh* I had a burden when I wrote this last chapter. I felt sad and alittle bit too dramatic and over acting I suppose is the right word. But anyway, please read and review and tell me about how you thought of the story.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

As usual, I woke up in the morning and looked up to the clock that hanged on the wall, ticking. I blinked then look at the bed covers. Roronoa was not on the bed and I suppose he's doing something in the kitchen since I can hear banging and water boiling. By now I think he can live on his own, he's better at cooking than I. The people in the village must've had taught him how to. I combed my hair and put on my red rimmed glasses and walked out of the bed room. I smiled when I saw my fake husband's back on me. He was cooking.

He turned around sipping his soup from a spoon. He grinned and placed the spoon on the counter then walked towards me. I smiled back at him, every morning his the first person I always see and that always makes my day. I used to always wake up cranky. He hugged me and kissed my lips then lay his chin on my forehead. "Good morning, m'lady." I chuckled and kissed his chin. "Good morning to you too, my lover." He pulled back and went to the table. He pulled a chair and guided me to it. "I made breakfast." "As always." I said. He placed a plate half filled with corn and duck with special sauce. He always cooks that after I told him that this is my favourite dish. He sat on the other chair.

"So, do you have plans for the day?" He asked. I chewed then swallowed. "I have to-" "Report to your boss? Yeah I get it." He sighed and leaned back while putting his hands behind his head. I pouted and drank water. "Are you mad at me?" I asked. He smiled faintly then shook his head. "No of course not." "You don't have to hide from me, Zoro." I said and hold unto his hand. "It's alright. You can tell me all your feelings." He nodded. "I'm not mad though." I looked at my food. "I'm really sorry, baby. But my schedule is very hectic today." "I understand."

****

After I finished my breakfast I walked out of the house and kissed Roronoa good bye then I finally left. I looked up. The weather was bad and there was something ominous about it. It could all be just in my mind. I covered my head with my thick hood then started walking to the town. When I reached the town, there weren't much people walking around. It wasn't as lively but there were still merchants standing around.

The wind blew harder making my hood fall back on my shoulders and it also blew the fallen leaves on the ground. I soon walked past the centre of the town and my eyes widened at the sight of two familiar faces. My breath was stuck on my throat and my eyes widened. Not too far from me stood Mugiwara no Luffy and Black leg Sanji. I quickly hid behind a pillar before they see me and run away from me. I reached down to my sword but it betrayed me, Shigure was not there. Had I left it?

_"What now?"_ I thought and gnashed my teeth together. I never thought I'd see them today. Shall I talk to them and tell them about Roronoa? And then should I tell them to escape before the Marines see them? But then again we have their ship. Even if they won't be seen here, they'd still be seen afterwards if they take back their ship. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to let go of my love, not now. Why do they have to show themselves so early.

I looked around for Marines and I found it awkward to be hoping that they are not around. I need to talk to the pirates and I don't want to arrest them. Slowly, but still having second thoughts, I worked my way out of the pillar and my head started to ache. I don't know if these pirates would ever listen to me. I don't want them to run away if they see me. I licked my lips and looked around and then the situation got worse.

My mouth parted and I inhaled deeply. Roronoa was in town looking lost. In his right hand was Shigure. I guess he wanted to give it to me. He looked cautious too. He scratched his head and started walking real slow. I moved my head to where his other two companions stood and I was a little bit glad that they have not seen him. Both were fighting each other. Should I run to Zoro and hide him from them? Then what? Am I going to do this again and again? I can't keep hiding Roronoa. It would only complicate things.

"Z-Zoro?!" Then Black leg screamed. Mugiwara turned his head to where his mate was looking and then he grinned widely. Both ran to him and Mugiwara placed his hands Roronoa's shoulders and I thought, 'this is it'. They'll take him away from me. I just stood on my place, were talking. Zoro stared at them blankly and frowned. Mugiwara's expression changed little by little.

Then Zoro stepped back and shook his head. Black leg pulled his shirt and yelled at him, "Baka, marimo! Stop this shit and let's get the hell 'outta here!" He growled. Roronoa pushed him away and Black leg almost fell on the ground. When the blond did that, it enraged me. How dare he address Zoro that way?! Roronoa started talking and how I wish I could hear them speak. Then when Mugiwara grabbed his arm, he shook it off then ran away, back to our house.

Black leg wanted to run after him but Mugiwara stopped him. They both started talking again then the blond sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. Mugiwara stood motionless.

"Sergeant?" I jumped from my place then moved my head to one side. Three Marine soldiers came to me, the other two were gun men. They saluted and the one in the middle smiled. "What are you d- ha!" He cried. I knew it, he saw what I've seen! He pointed to the two pirates and pushed his two companions. "The main enemies are in the square!" He yelled then he looked at me. "Great work, Sergeant! You've spotted the main enemies!" Then he ran off while taking out his den den mushi.

I panicked and looked at Black leg and Mugiwara who were running away but where surrounded by the Marines. Soon the town was in chaos, people started screaming and running around. Then there were gun shots and cries. "No.. stop!" I tried to yell but I managed a whimper.

****

I ran from the commotion even though I had no idea where to go to. People ran past me and shove me away. More marines infiltrated the square. I wanted to stop them but then I know it was very wrong. I felt dizzy and so I started to stagger. Should I go look for the captain?

The wind blew stronger and then there was a flash of lightning. The sky grumbled and slowly, rain dropped to the earth. I looked up. "Dammit! They've found us!" I looked down then to my side. Beside me was the Mugiwara's navigator and Nico Robin. They had shopping bags in each hand. Then Nico Robin found me. She grimaced then glared. I opened my mouth to speak to them yet two hands appeared on my shoulder. One covered my mouth and the other choking my neck.

I muffled and dropped on my knees on the ground. Nico Robin tightened her hand around my neck and then the hand turned into pink petals. It disappeared together with the two women. I held my neck and looked around and slowly stood up. My hair and clothes started to get soaked.

"Tashigi!" Then I moved my head to where I heard my name called. Captain Smoker ran towards me with his sea stone jutte. "Head to the woods! Hina's marines spotted Roronoa's head band there! Go! Some soldiers are raiding the area!" Then he faded into a smoke. I looked down and my breath slowly quicken.

"Roronoa.." I whimpered and then ran as fast as I could back to my house. My legs wobbled and I could feel I was going to trip any later now but I tried not to. On my way, the Mugiwaras have all gone out from where they were hiding. Some marines flew and some canons were blown. Not just that, I also saw captain Hina and when she looked at me, I saw how she clenched her teeth together and how she glared at me angrily.

I knew right then that she knew something about me. There was no time to get distracted or scared. _I have to go and save my enemy lover._

I ran inside my house and I was so glad that I didn't found any Marines. I double locked the door and ran around my house searching. "Zoro? Zoro!" I called. No one spoke. I ran to the bedroom but he was not there. I looked around and all I could hear in the silence was my heart thumping. I turned my head and noticed the bathroom door slightly opened. I walked towards it and went in.

Then I saw him crumpled beside the bathtub. He had his knees bended against his chest and his hands over his head. Shigure was beside him. I kicked it away then my eyes felt hot. I drew in air and my voice quivered, "Zoro.." He looked up and his eyes were filled with tears and red from crying. "Tashigi!" I kneeled in front of him and covered him with my body. I hugged him tightly and he did to me. "Tashigi!" He cried.

It tore my heart just by looking at him in this state. If this is the consequence of my sins then leave Roronoa and let me suffer by myself. "Ssh!" I buried my face in his green hair and kissed his head, I rubbed his back. "Don't worry. I'm here now, alright?" I looked at his innocent eyes and kissed his forehead. "The two men from my dreams came to me today. They said things I did not understood." He swallowed. "I was so scared. They wanted to take me away from you." Then he hugged me closer.

"It's alright. It's alright." I said and my tears fell down on his cheeks. "Are they going to poke my butt with a large fork? Just like you told me?" He asked. I smiled and chuckled. "No, Zoro, no." I said. I grabbed the sides of his face and bit my lower lip. "Why are you crying?" He asked and I closed my eyes and more tears ran down.

There is no going back now. I need to tell him the whole truth. This day has finally come. The day that I always dreaded, there's nothing I can do but surrender. Any moment now, everything that I had been thinking of will slowly come to a reality. He will be taken and God knows what will happen.

I kissed him then leaned my forehead against his. I shook my head. "You really shouldn't have trust me even from the very beginning." He frowned and looked bewildered. "What?" "I am a liar, Zoro, I am a thief and I stole your trust. You should never forgive me." Zoro moved his face away from me. "I don't understand. What are you saying, Tashigi?" He asked then a tear fell from his right eye. "You knew this w- Who am I?"

"If I tell you, you will hate me forever." I looked down. "No, my emotions for you will not change." "Roronoa you only loved me because of a lie." I shook my head and cried. "It was a mistake to love me." I drew his forehead against mine again and kept my hands on the sides of his face. "I.. always wanted this sweet smile…and this kind strong hands." I pursed my lips. "Even though I should not want such things."

***BAM! BAM! BAM!***

"Sergeant Tashigi, open up!" The marines knocked loudly on my door. Both Roronoa and I panicked and he held unto me closer.

"They are here aren't they?" He started shaking under me. "They will take me away from you! I don't want that!" I grabbed Shigure and angrily stood up. "No! I won't let them do that! I'll die first before they can even have the chance to see you!" Rage was taking over me. Roronoa pulled me down. "Don't die." He looked straight at me. "Live and stay hopeful." He forced a smile but I twisted my face. If only I surrendered him to the straw hats awhile ago, he wouldn't have to go through this shit.

I grab Shigure and unsheathed him. This is my battle. _My sins are my own and I will pay for them. _I took him to our bedroom, the banging didn't stop. I took all his three swords and tied my leather strap around his waist then slid his swords in. "What are you doing?" He asked. "I can't use them." I held unto his elbow. "You have to! Hide in the village and make sure no one sees you." I inhaled. "Be strong."

"And you?" "Forget about me. Worry about your survival." I clenched my hands and looked down when my chest started to ache. I took a deep breath and lunged myself into him. I cried once again and held him tightly. "You have no idea how much I love you, Zoro." I kissed him fully then lay my forehead on his chest.

"I love you too." He answered. I held and kissed him for the last time and now it was time to let go even if it hurts so much. I brought him to the back door and opened it. "You have to go now!" I pushed him out. He shook his head and his lower lip pouted_. _"No I don't wanna. Please stay with me.." He whined. "Zoro, you have to! You have to!" I cried and pulled the front of his shirt. I gnashed my teeth my tears ran to my lips then to my teeth. "If.. if you stay with me, I may never be able to let you go."

"Sergeant, open up or we will break the door!" The marine yelled once again. "Go! Go!" I pushed my lover into the woods and just before he ran and disappeared, he said, "I love you." For the very last time. I leaned against the door way and wept. I could not breath. The banging came again and I stomped my way to the front door.

I opened it angrily that the door almost flung in. "What?!" I growled. "We're sorry to disturb like this, Sergeant, but captain Hina told us to check your house." The marine said and I could she him shaking. Then they suddenly went in without my permission. "What are you doing?!" One marine pushed me back. "We're sorry, Sergeant, we're only doing what we were told."

Then they started going into all the rooms. I followed them. "Stop this! You know I don't keep enemies with me!" I yelled. Two soldiers went in the bed room and shove away the bed sheets and also my clothes from the closet. "There's no one in here!" He yelled. "Of course there's no one in here! Why the hell would you think of that?!" I growled and hissed at them.

The other soldiers went in the bathroom and the others opened the dividers under my sink. "There he is! Roronoa Zoro!!" My eyes widened and all the soldiers ran to the back of my house. "No.." Then I too ran back. "Roronoa Zoro, stop!" Zoro ignored them and kept on running. I can't believe they can still see him. "Shit! He's persistent! Shoot him!" "No!" I yelled and pushed away the Marines. "That's not him!" I cried even though I know they know it was him. The gun men kept on firing and the others ran after him. I needed to do something before he'll get killed. "Stop this!" I yelled once more.

They kept ignoring me until I lost control. I sheathed out Shigure, raise it up then sliced a gun man's back. "Gwaah!" He yelled and fell on the ground. His back started bleeding and he lay motionless. The marines left around me stared in pure horror. Some started whispering that they could not believe what I did. I did too. I dropped my bloody sword on the ground and gasped.

I gained consciousness then I drew my hands to my mouth, covering it. What have I done? "Sergeant.. you, killed him." One soldier said. I looked at them and they all turned pale. I shook my head. "No.. I.. I'm so.." I stammered. Then one soldier started running away, he ran back to the town, to report.

I was brain dead. My head shot up and I remembered Roronoa. I told him to go to the village and now the villagers will be in danger. God I am so stupid! There were so many things I've done wrong! Then there's that soldier who ran back to the town. What else could I do next?! I don't know what to do first, but my legs were moving to the village's direction.

****

"Take him out! I know he's in here!" A marine soldier yelled and he fired a gun up to the trees. The villagers looked so afraid, they couldn't do anything at all. "I will count to five and if you won't take him out, we will not hesitate but look for him and we will do it by force!" He continued threatening. "One.. two-" "Enough of this!" I yelled behind him.

They all looked back and I glared at all of them. "S-sergeant, Roronoa-" "Shut up!" I went infront of him and growled. "What do you think you're doing?! You think you can do whatever you want without my approval?" The soldier stared at me and his face paled. "So what? Do we do what you want now?" I asked sternly. "But.. Sergeant, Roronoa was-"

**"Oi!" **

The Marine and I stopped and looked to where the voice was coming from. There stood Roronoa with two swords in each hand. The sword in the left was laying on his left shoulder while the other stayed in his side. The Marines were screaming but I could not hear any sounds at all. My blood rushed even faster now and I could hear them hissing in my ears. My eyebrows rose up.

Then everything went quiet and ran in slow motion. I just stood at my place, my legs glued to the ground. The marines ran to Roronoa and some fired at him. I could make out the expressions of the villagers as they scream but I could not hear. I stared at Roronoa as he fought and as he did, he was grinning widely, as if enjoying. I just stood there, frozen.

And at that moment, I knew right then that that man was not my Roronoa anymore, the Roronoa that I loved and cared. He was a different man and I suddenly missed the person he was.Tears started to fall from my eyes once again mixing with the rain and my chest tightened. My head ache began. A drop of blood spread across my cheek. Puddles of blood started flooding the muddy ground and the villagers were gasping now, some ran away.

I must have dozed off. Slowly, when Roronoa finished the last three soldiers, I blinked and shook my head. Then the whole world came back to me. I could hear now and feel. Roronoa had his back on me then I saw him sheath back his swords to their scabbard and gloated at the defeated Marines.

Then he turned his body to me then he glared, evilly or I suppose angrily. He cocked his left eyebrow up then grab hold unto his black new sword. "So what, woman? Are you gonna try to defeat me aswell?" He asked rudely. I gasped and my breath quivered.

The way he said it was just too painful and my chest started to ache. Yeah, he is not my Roronoa anymore. I hope there were too many rain drops on my face so he won't notice my tears_. _I covered my mouth and looked down, my fringed covered my teary eyes. I clenched my fist tightly.

"I see." He snorted and let go of his sword. "I'm not planning to fight you too. Oh well." He shrugged and when he moved his legs, my head shot up and my mouth parted. "No wait!" I yelled. His facial expression changed and he looked at me with slight concern. He squinted and grimaced. I walked slowly towards him not wanting him to run away just like he always did as if I was a _monster_ for him.

"Hold on." I stammered. When I walked closer to him, I noticed a purple bruise on his forehead. He must've hit his head. Then my right hand snaked deep into my pocket and grabbed my handkerchief. I wanted to wipe off some blood on his face but then I stopped. I can't do that anymore. I pursed my lips and when he kept on staring at me I looked away.

I stayed a foot away from him until he sighed. "What is it?" He asked and he stepped back. This time I didn't have the strength to answer because then my voice would just shake. "Look, I don't have time for this. I don't know where I am and I don't know how I got these clothes." He pulled his shirt and raised an eyebrow. "I shouldn't even be talking to you." His eyes dropped on my empty sword scabbard.

He grinned. "You can't hurt me, huh?" I shook my head. "No.." I whispered. I will never hurt him. "What do you want?" He asked again and I guess his patience was growing thin. I opened my mouth then close them back again. I took a deep breath. "Can I.. can I borrow your back?" "What? I can't turn my back on you."

Then I pulled his right arm and made him turn his back on me. When he finally did, I clenched unto his shirt, the shirt I bought, and dug my fingers unto them. I leaned my forehead on his back and started crying once again. I don't know, but my tears were falling non-stop. I was happy that his shirt was soaked with rain water.

"Hey! Hey what're you doing?!" He started shaking then he shrugged me off him. He turned around and grimaced at me. He opened his mouth but then he kept it that way. Roronoa saw me crying. I'm sure about it. I could feel mucus flowing down from my nostril. He looked at my feet then he moved his head to the side. "Why are you crying?" And when he said that, his voice cracked.

I didn't stop myself from weeping any longer. If I did, I think my heart would stop beating. I covered my mouth knowing that I looked ugly and disgusting than ever. "Don't leave.." I whimpered shaking my head. He looked at me and squinted. "Stay.." I continued and I hope I didn't said those. But he heard me.

"What are you talking about?" Roronoa clenched his teeth and his nostrils expanded when he took a deep breath. "What happened when I.. when I didn't.." He looked around for answers. I sniffed hard and wiped off the mixed liquids on my face with the sleeve of my shirt.

I swallowed. "You have to leave now before they see you." I said, craning my head to the woods, searching for marines. "You're letting me go?" He asked and he was not the only one who couldn't believe those words. I was shaking from anxiety. I wanted to hug him and kiss him for one last time and I thought it'd be enough but then I would still be not contented.

And I hate the way he asked that question because I know the answer would really hurt. I did not want to let go but I nodded painfully and I hung my head and clenched my teeth. "Go.. Roronoa!" I forced. I took a deep breath and looked at him. "You are free." Then he shook his head. "No." He looked into the woods and nodded there. "Where does that lead to?" "The town. Your friends are there. Go." I answered. He was looking at me then he looked at the woods again, then to me. He smiled and I was contented because even for a second, he didn't thought of me as an enemy. _"Thank you."_ Then he ran off.

As soon as he disappeared into the woods, I fell on my knees on the muddy ground. I clenched the soil under my hands and my whole body shook. I was so angry, so frustrated and I don't know what I felt anymore. It could either be regret or pain. My chest tightened like it did before and I could not breath. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it angrily. I let out angry cries and I started pounding my fist on the mud, spilling some blood and water mixed with dirt on my face.

I was angry because I wanted to stop myself from crying but the pain was too much to handle and I always hate the way I loved him so much that it hurts. I started coughing. I sat on my ankles and screamed, **"Roronoa!"** to the dark grey sky. My voice echoed. I opened my hands and the damp soil fell on the ground.

I felt like I ran a marathon, I was breathing so fast. Slowly, my tears started to decline from falling. My body started to calm down and my butt fell on the ground. I sat there motionless and staring in space until a small hand hooked on my left shoulder. I turned my head to it then looked at whoever owned it. It was the boy whom Roronoa and I met before. The one whom I almost killed.

"He.. slipped against the moss.. when he was running." The boy started. "I saw how he hit his head on a thick hard boulder. It looked very painful." He looked at the trees where Roronoa disappeared into. "Then he screamed and when I walked to him he did not know who I was and where he was." The little boy looked at me straight in the eye. "I couldn't understand what he was saying."

And so that was how he got his memories back. My eyes fell to the boys knees then to the ground once again. "I'm really sorry… about the village." I picked myself up and used the boy's shoulders for balance. "I caused you all the trouble and there is no forgiveness for this." The boy looked at the dead bodies. "I have to go now. I still have another problem to solve." I smiled weakly at him though I suppose he couldn't say it was a smile. I looked at the villagers then nodded and ran off to the woods.

****

I felt so empty. I had no more emotions left in me and I suppose I ran out of tears. There is no more hope for me. I know the marine who saw me kill the gun man had already told captain Hina and Smoker and I know I'm going to be fired when I reach them. What does it matter anyway? I'm a failure. There's no place for me in this world anymore. And if I was still going to be in the marines, I don't know if I can still have the courage to look at Roronoa and fight him in the future.

I ran past my house and the doors were open and the dead gun man's body still lay on the back of my house. I shook my head and continued running weakly to the town. When I got closer to the square, where the battle had started, I could still hear cannons, gun fires and yells. I suppose the straw hats are still in the island. I kept running and when I got into the square, suddenly, the large Mugiwara ship flew into the sky.

It left out a strong wind and sprays of cola that almost knocked off everyone behind it. I kept my feet on the ground and when the wind slowly wind down, I looked up to the flying disappearing ship. It flew away and took my only source of happiness_. _I was surprised to feel that no tear fell to my cheeks. I took in air and looked down to the cobbled ground. The rain kept on pouring but the wind was gentle and peaceful.

I heard the marines running around and some ran to the marine ships. I don't know how they're going to go after the Mugiwaras. I hope they won't and I know they can never go after them. The marines were hesitant, they sailed into the distance.

****

I found myself sitting on the chair infront of the captain's desk. He was standing on the window with his hands on the window pane. He had been grumbling curses. There was only us in his office and I wanted it that way. My head hung and chin against my chest. I had not blinked at all. The chair under me was starting to get really damp and I did not care.

"Fuck it!" The captain growled and slammed his fist angrily on his desk and shove all the papers away. He kicked his chair and it landed on the other side of the room. My shoulders shuddered. I kept my eyes on my feet. "If only I knew I was right!" I know he was glaring at me, angrily. He punched the desk once more. "Dammit, Tashigi!" His voice cracked.

I started to get really scared. My heart raced. I took a deep breath and when I exhaled, my voice quivered. My lower lip pouted and I rubbed my forehead with my left hand. "I'm sorry. I was foolish, blinded by my own weakness." I cried. "Sorry?! That's it?!" He rasped. "Words doesn't mean any shit anymore, Tashigi!" I looked up to him. I saw how he glared at me like he wanted to kill me so bad. I opened my mouth but end up biting it. I was so scared.

I shook my head and repeated that I was sorry once again. "No you are not sorry! Why the hell did you do it?! What came in your nut brain when you did that? Dammit, Tashigi! I never thought you'd-" He paused and rubbed his face and shook his head. "I don't know what to do with you anymore." He leaned on the wall.

A tear fell from my eye. There were still tears left. "I don't know what and how the government would react if they know about this." I looked at him once again, blinking. He sighed heavily. "God, Tashigi, you fell inlove with the enemy." And when he said those, I just breathed in so hard. "I don't know if I should forgive you." "Then don't." I said. He sighed once again and looked outside the window. "I told Hina not to tell this to anybody and told her to keep that soldier's mouth shut.. and I had to.. fucking beg her."

I didn't know what to say or how to thank him. Thanking him is not even worth it. I was happy inside, alittle. "Thank you." I said. He shook his head. "I always knew this was going to happen but I always had doubts about it. But then you did it and there's no changing the past." He looked at me over his shoulder. "So what? Are you just going to stare at me and say nothing?" I licked my lips and swallowed. "I.. " "You don't know what to say? Heh!" He looked outside the window. "Shit." "No!" I stood up. "I.. will try, captain." "You've been telling me that bullshit again and again." He leaned against a wall and folded his arms.

"Please, Tashigi. Next time, try to figure out what's right or wrong. Dammit, promise me that whatever you're going to say you will do." I looked at his boots then to his eyes again. I couldn't look at him. I wasn't sure about how I feel and I wasn't sure if I was going to tell him that I will arrest Roronoa the next time I see him because.. I'm not sure. "Confirm me with your answer if your not love struck anymore." He grabbed his jacket from the ground and started slipping his arms through the sleeves.

I nodded at him. "Yes, sir. But.. where is captain Hina?" I asked. "She and her Marines have gone after the Straw hats. I fuckin' don't know if you're up for it."

****

I walked straight into my opened house and no one came to greet me. The house was empty and cold. I closed the door after me. I went to the back door and noticed that the dead body was gone so I walked out and picked up my cold sword. I went to the bathroom and took a long quiet bath. I still remembered how just awhile ago Roronoa was sitting on the side of the tub, crying. So I took a quiet long bath then walked to my thrashed bed room where my clothes were scattered on the ground.

There weren't only my clothes, there were also his. Those ones that I bought on the first day he stayed in the house. My lower lip pouted and I bit it so hard. I picked up his clothes and hugged them against my chest and so I started crying again. I inhaled the pieces of fabrics and gathered more in my hands. Soon they were all damp from my tears. I hugged them tightly. I missed him so much.

I lay on the cold bed, alone now and no one to hold me nor comfort me. That's what he used to do when he was still mine. More tears fell from my eyes but other than that, I didn't felt any more facial movements. My tears just fell. I reached out for his pillow and unto the sheets where he laid this morning. I buried my nose into it and his smell lingers. Then I started to imagine him beside me kissing my head and rubbing my back to stop me from crying but it only got worse.

Roronoa and I are parted once again and the next time we meet each other, we won't be lovers anymore, we will be enemies. I really enjoyed and loved my short time being with him. Even though it was only one grain of joy and freedom. His kisses and touches were addictive and hard to get used to and I ache because I want them still. I imagined his smiling face. Yeah he was such a pansy but I loved that pansy more than anything. I guess I've said that again and again but I can't stop myself. Love sucks. It hurts so much. It's painful than any scars received in battle because it leaves you really weak and vulnerable. I said before that it felt like heaven but it hurt like hell.

And so the day ends and my fairytale was... a failed fairytale, Roronoa and I never really had a chance of having a happily ever after. Maybe it was suppose to be like that. Maybe we were really not meant for each other and that I wasn't suppose to have him or I didn't really deserve him. I guess he deserves a better, smart, good looking woman with a high sex appeal. And I also guess that I deserve to be hurt. I thought I would be ready for the pain of this day but I was not. I just ended up crying my eyes out and I suppose tomorrow I'll drink plenty of water. Do you get dehydrated from crying too much?

I don't want to be pitied at all. I know I deserved this punishment. I did a lot of crazy foolish things without thinking too much about it. So this is it. And so my crap life will start from tomorrow onwards. There's no stopping and predicting the future. Maybe when I meet Roronoa he'll have a real girlfriend or a wife even. Well who ever she is, she better hold him tightly and kiss him right. She doesn't know how lucky she is to be able to held unto my whole world. I remembered my ring, our ring. I looked at it and started twisting it against my ring finger. Then I managed a smile.

What will he ever think of when he sees his ring? Will he throw it away or will he keep it? I reached out for his pillow and lay my head on it after kissing it. What could he be doing today, I wonder. What could he be thinking? I closed my eyes. I kissed my ring.

_"Wherever you are, I hope you are doing alright, my husband."_

**-END-****L.R.; **Alright, so first of all, thank you for all of you very kind people who read, reviewed, faved and story alert-ed this over dramatic emo-ish fic. I mean, I mean it people you really are cool! This wouldn't work if it weren't for you guys.. at all! So yeah! Thank you loads and may your Gods bless you all! This story wouldn't be stuck in my peanut brain if it weren't for these songs that inspired the story;

* * *

**Broken Vow- **Lara Fabian  
**Falling slowly- **The Frames  
**Vindicated- **Dashboard Confessions

Again, thank you thank you! -**LonelyRage**


End file.
